No, seriously. Get lost. Get outta here. Scram. Disappear.
In fact, you can now disappear in America without a trace! Apparently, it's not that hard. At least, it's not hard after you've read the step-by step, easy-to-follow guide on how to vanish without a trace right here in the good ol' US of A.
Learn how to completely destroy your vehicle in a safe and efficient manner, make friends in biker bars, and become comfortable with firearms.
Some excerpts:
Assuming you're a housewife with little to no experience with guns:
Remove the firearm from its drawer, night stand, or under the bed or the closet making sure that you keep your hands and fingers away from the trigger. Nearly all firearms will not discharge if you keep your fingers away from the trigger. All firearms require the weapon to be either cocked before it will discharge else one must use a fairly heavy pull on the trigger to both cock and fire the weapon. If a weapon has been cocked, it could be that even the slightest pressure -- some three pounds or less -- could discharge the weapon. For this reason, keep your fingers away from the trigger!
Always be fully aware of where the barrel of the firearm is pointing. Keep it pointed in a direction which will not result in injury of yourself or anyone else in the event the gun discharges. Ground-floor apartment dwellers should point the firearm down. Other-floor apartment dwellers should point the firearm at the television, book-shelves, radiator, heater, or air conditioner -- anything heavy which would stop the bullet if the firearm discharges. Most apartment complexes' walls and most residential houses' walls are too thin to stop most of the popular projectiles.
If you know what to do, clear the weapon. If you don't know what to do or are uncomfortable clearing the weapon, don't try it.
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Leave town. Don't go to any place you've talked about or stated a desire to visit. Don't run to any place predictable. Don't hide in a city or town you've ever been to or contains known family members. Don't do something obviously stupid like running to Las Vegas or Hollywood. If you're taking children out of an abusive family, leave town and go immediately to a shelter in another State -- preferably a State which has laws which help to protect battered men or women from their ex-spouses or live-ins.
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Use "toilet seat protectors" -- so-called "Ass Gaskets" -- where they are provided to reduce the possibility of leaving skin, sweat, or other body fluids on the seat. These substances can be swabbed into glass vials and be used to identify you. Paper seat covers will either eliminate this problem else reduce it greatly.
NEVER lick an envelope or a stamp for obvious reasons! If it is known you're in a particular city your general location can be inferred by the physical location of your correspondence in a stack collected by the postal authority. You shouldn't mail anyone anything unless it's done so anonymously (wear gloves when handling paper) yet if you feel the need, remember that if you lick something and it leaves your control, you may as well take out an advertisement in the newspapers broadcasting your general location.
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The anti-establishment and socially disassociated populace has always existed and has always been an asset to those on the run. Your job is to find them if you need them. Be honest with such people since they know the score and will shine you on if you're a lying jerk.
Motorcycle Hangouts.
Buy people drinks, talk politics, express your viewpoints, and get to know the people in motorcycle hangouts.
Express an honest interest in learning how to ride safely. Find out what it's like to drop everything and ride to feel free.
Eventually, let a few you think you can trust know that you're looking for a place to hang out "out of the way" for a couple of days. Don't press the issue and don't ask outright for shelter. Ask around about where a good spot to sleep is out in the hills where the cops won't find you. Someone may offer you a tent in his backyard.
Ask where a good place is to find something to eat or get day labor. Someone may offer you a fiver or yard work.
Honestly make friends with some of the people. Your best bet is not to lead people on and take advantage of them but to actually befriend people who can help you hide and then -- hopefully -- start a new life with a new identity.
You know, I never really seriously considered dropping out of society and re-inventing myself as a cool, mysterious loner on the lam, living day-to-day through hard manual labor ... but I have to admit, after reading this little how-to essay, the idea does sound kind of romantic. Except the part about the "ass gaskets." That part was just weird.
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