Sunday, February 27, 2005

Razzie Dazzle

Tonight, the Gay Superbowl (better known as Oscar night) honors what the Academy believes to be the best of the best. The cream of the crop. But what of the rest? The bottom of the barrel? The worst of the worst?

Well, that's what the Razzies celebrate. And funny man/screenwriter/all around good guy John Rogers has won a Razzie for Catwoman, the Worst Screenplay of 2004. So, if you have the time, send him some good mojo and pop on over to his website and show him some love.

Oh, and Halle Berry showing up to receive her award? Classy. That gal is okay. She's gonna go places...

I'm not quite sure how I got on this mailing list...

From : WhereChristiansMeet
Sent : Saturday, February 26, 2005 10:41 PM
To :
Subject : Meet Singles With Christian Principles

Friday, February 25, 2005



I have nothing to say.

Seriously. I'll let you know when my brain starts working again.

And now that you all have access to Paris Hilton's address book, my phone has been ringing off the hook! So please - PLEASE- you gotta stop calling me. I just can't handle all this attention!

I told you I have nothing to say.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

I fell in love again today.

She was staring out the graffiti-stained window when I stepped though the doors at West 4th St. Radiohead plays softly in my ears as I plunge my hands into my pocket and slump down into the plastic comfort of my seat across from her. A dog-eared copy of Slaughterhouse 5 sits, knowingly, in her lap, which immediately catches my attention, even before I notice her curly golden locks cascading over her shoulders. Her emerald eyes sparkle with a mischievous certainty, as if she knows the F train cannot take her where she really wants to go.

“That’s one of my favorite books,” I say, in my head, quietly staring at the metal pole next to her, imagining the way she would swoon when I finally worked up the courage to suavely declare my love of Vonnegut out loud.

My thoughts turn to Billy Pilgrim, unstuck in time, and I wonder if I, too, have unknowingly become lost in the time stream. I see us driving through the mountains of Vermont, and now the wind stings my face as I glance over at her, her sunglasses gleaming in the crisp autumn air as she watches the leaves change color. I hear the distinctive lilt of her laugh as I charm her friends in the hipster-centric bohemia of some downtown New York bar. I feel the tears burn in my eyes as I watch her slam the door behind her for the last time, as a hateful U-Haul overflowing with her life idles in the street below.

She’s flipping through the book once again, skimming and re-reading until she’s picked up where she left off. I notice the corners of her lips curl into an adorable smirk. “It’s brilliant, isn’t it?” I don’t ask her.

The train makes more uneventful stops, brakes squealing and sparks flying, as the songs shuffle on my I-Pod. “I couldn’t help but notice your smile,” I fail to say aloud.

She snaps the book shut and my heart sinks. Our eyes meet, but we say nothing. We don’t need to. Our non-life together flashes before us both, and we purse our lips in a sorrowful grin at the bittersweet nostalgia of what never was. The brakes squeal once more. The doors open on Jay St.-Borough Hall and she steps off into the rest of her life.

And she’s gone.

I never knew her name. But I loved her anyway.

If you wanna increase your traffic...

...just mention Paris Hilton. For those looking to see the hacked T-Mobile stuff, just scroll down and click on the (dirty) link. Or just jump right to the post itself.

And for the person who found this after searching for "birth control kill pill," sorry this site wasn't more helpful. But good luck! I hope you find what you're looking for!

Don't worry, faithful readers. I'm pretty sure it's not mine.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

"I walked back to the hotel in the rain."

Warren Ellis shares his thoughts on the passing of Hunter S. Thompson. It's pretty much how I feel, so I'm just reposting it here, for anyone who doesn't belong to Warren's mailing list.

bad signal

People keep asking if I'm going to
say something about the death of
Hunter S Thompson. Hell, a couple
of newspapers have asked. This
is because (for the sake of the
Marvel readers who have joined us)
I wrote a graphic novel series called
of whose protagonist was somewhat
influenced by Thompson's writing,
persona and life.

I got the news from a friend at CBS
at four in the morning, two minutes
after it hit the ticker. I was, and
am, numb. I've tried to write about
it a couple of times. When John
Peel died, I was wrecked. This
time, I'm just numb.

I read an article a few years ago,
that I haven't seen cited in the
obituaries yet, wherein it's stated
that Thompson's body was pretty
much packing up on him. His
stomach was having problems with
toxic substances like, um, food,
and his diet was mostly liquid,
mashed avocado and yoghurt. He'd
spent time in a wheelchair in recent
years. His drug use had always been
exaggerated for comedic effect,
but, at 67, he'd been hammering
his body in a committed way for
some 50 years. And, at 67, you
don't grow back the bits you killed.
There's a fair chance he was looking
at years of dependency, chronic
illness, and listening to his own body
die by inches. Anyone would find
that frightening.

He always wore his influences on
his sleeve. JP Donleavy, Faulkner,
Mencken, Fitzgerald, Kerouac,
Hemingway. He used and re-used
the last line from A FAREWELL TO
ARMS, over and over: "I walked back
to the hotel in the rain." Legend
has it that he retyped a Hemingway
novel to understand how the writer
got his effects.

Hemingway, of course, shot himself
in the head. Old and sick and unable
to live up to his own ideas on manhood.

I always thought it peculiarly apt
that the man who wrote that line,
whose work was all about keeping
the expression of human feeling
underneath the surface, sat
somewhere quiet and alone and put
a shotgun in his mouth.

Hunter Thompson waited until his
young wife left the house, and then
shot himself in the head with a
pistol. He must have been quite
aware that either she, or his son,
there in the house with his grandson,
would find his corpse. Dead bodies
don't lay neatly. They splay,
spastic and awful. There is often

I nev er met Thompson. Had the
opportunity a couple of times --
magazines wanting to send me out
to Woody Creek, that kind of
thing -- but turned them down. I've
been lucky so far, in meeting my
great influences. But they don't
always go well. Friends of mine have
had horrific experiences with their
personal heroes, and it often leaves
them unable to enjoy the work
afterwards. And I wanted to keep
the work. So I don't know what kind
of man he was.

And the numbness, in part, comes
from now finding that he was the
kind of man that'd let his family
find him like that. I have a personal
loathing for suicide. It's stupid and
selfish and ugly and cowardly and
reeks of weakness. Someone said
to me yesterday about Thompson,
"What a ripoff." And I kind of know
what he meant. It's become
convenient to write Thompson off
as parody in recent years, and
there's a case to be made that he
peaked around the age of 36, with
CAMPAIGN TRAIL '72. But he could
still make me laugh, even in the
most recent collection, HEY RUBE.
" 'We have many cigarettes here,'
I said suavely" still makes me smile.
Writing had clearly become
difficult, and a job, but every now
and then you'd get a clear burst
of the old anger, as in his support
for Lisl Auman (google it). He was
done with the big fireworks, but
the devil was still in him. Probably
his great work of the last twenty
years was in Being Hunter Thompson.
In performance.

But how you leave the stage is at
least as important as how you enter
it. And he left it alone in a kitchen
with a .45, dying in -- and wouldn't
it be nice if it were the last time
these words were typed together? --

-- dying in fear, and loathing.

Warren Ellis
down by the sea
February 2005
Sent from mobile device
probably from the pub

Monday, February 21, 2005

It's not just DOMESTIC lawsuits the President hates...'s apparently lawsuits of any kind. Even lawsuits by former American POWs who have successfully sued - and won their case against - Saddam Hussein. I guess we're extending the term "junk lawsuits" to encompass lawsuits against the deposed dictator's regime now. That wacky President - he must really hate lawyers. Or America. I'll report - you decide.

The next time the President or anyone from this administration says they support the troops, ask them why they don't support American POWs. We already know the disdain they have for actual war heroes based on their treatment of John McCain, Max Cleland, and John Kerry. But the Administration has sunk to an all new level of slime with this latest episode.

The Bush administration is fighting the former prisoners of war in court, trying to prevent them from collecting nearly $1 billion from Iraq that a federal judge awarded them as compensation for their torture at the hands of Saddam Hussein's regime.

The rationale: Today's Iraqis are good guys, and they need the money.

On the one side, you have the Bush Administration and Hussein's regime of torture. And on the other, American POWs and the Geneva Convention. Hmmmmm. Which side should the Bush Administration be on?

Sayeth Scott McClellan:

"No amount of money can truly compensate these brave men and women for the suffering that they went through at the hands of this very brutal regime and at the hands of Saddam Hussein," White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan told reporters when asked about the case in November 2003.

And apparently, the current Administration has taken that to heart, trying to deny AMERICAN SERVICE MEMBERS any compensation.

But Iraq needs that money more, whines Scotty on behalf of his masters.

"These resources are required for the urgent national security needs of rebuilding Iraq," McClellan said.

Well, then, how about this: ignoring Iraq's abuse against our troops violates the Geneva Convention.

The case also tests a key provision of the Geneva Convention, the international law that governs the treatment of prisoners of war. The United States and other signers pledged never to "absolve" a state of "any liability" for the torture of POWs.

Oh, but wait. This Administration hates the Geneva Convention. It's "quaint" and "obsolete."

Former Army lawyer Jeffrey Addicott sums it up best:

"Our government is on the wrong side of this issue," said Jeffrey F. Addicott, a former Army lawyer and director of the Center for Terrorism Law at St. Mary's University in San Antonio. "A lot of Americans would scratch their heads and ask why is our government taking the side of Iraq against our POWs."

And that's the bottom line: WHY?

The answer is simple: This Administration does not support our troops. They may talk a good game, but they don't support our troops in deed, nor do they support our troops in spirit. I could go through the horrific torture that these truly brave men endured, but you can read all about it in the article. Because the more I write about this, the more outraged I am that the only thing standing between them and justice is George. W. Bush. He's just plain wrong. And all the Tobey Keith songs in the world can't make Bush right on this issue.

We'll always have Paris

WARNING: If you click on any link that includes Paris Hilton's name, there is a very good chance that you will see some naughty things and/or breasts. I think that's a pretty good general rule of thumb, actually, when it comes to Paris. You have been warned.

So, Paris Hilton's T-Mobile Sidekick has been hacked. Again.

And, as Warren Ellis points out:

So by Monday morning, everyone will have seen the photos, phone numbers and notes from Paris Hilton’s hacked T-Mobile Sidekick II hiptop.

Now, supposedly, the rumour doing the rounds today is that her password was conned out of her by someone. And bearing in mind how crap the girl is at, say, keeping her home-made fuck tapes in the drawer, it’s entirely possible.

For those who care, here's my favorite Paris-penned note (from the Notes section of her T-Mobile):

Call herve leger and lingerie store
Check from rick
Call maroon 5
Get birth control kill pill

Begging the question: Are calling Maroon 5 and getting the "kill pill" related in any way?

If, um, I were a friend of Paris Hilton - and I think it goes without saying that I am not - I'd, uh, stop giving her ANY personal information, what-so-ever. And if I did have to give her something like my personal cell phone number, I'd require that she keep it listed on a loose piece of scrap paper. Because that seems to be more secure than her T-Mobile Sidekick II.

Now. If you'll excuse me. I need to make a few phone calls. To Lindsay Lohan.


Crummy news to wake up to:

Hunter S. Thompson is dead. Long live Hunter.

Sunday, February 20, 2005

Still Doomed

Okay, I know I've totally geeked out on this thing, but this is an important geek update here. Remember how I worried about how Dr. Doom would look in the final version of the Fantastic Four movie?

It's worse than you can possibly imagine.

From Newsarama:

The scene shows Victor Von Doom after the incident in space which transforms both him and the FF. The doctor says that Von Doom's tissues are changing from flesh into a substance that is harder the diamond--in three weeks, his entire body will be transformed. The clip shows Von Doom murdering the doctor and making a flippant remark that he needed a second opinion.

Apparently in the movie version, Von Doom is a self-obsessed billionaire, "not unlike Rupert Murdoch" (the Fox exective cringed when McMahon said that). Also in a different take from the comic, Von Doom has dated Sue Storm in the past, and this creates romantic tension between him and Reed Richards. McMahon spoke about trying different accents throughout the film to approach an Eastern European flavor, yet in the clip shown, he spoke with an American accent.


In the movie, Doom has a “progressive illness” that slowly turns his body into living metal.

Also gone will be Doom’s Eastern Europen monarch status.
(Emphasis all mine)


Everything you ever needed to know about the current X-MEN... can find right here, in convenient Flash animation form.
Presenting X-Men: Dark Phoenix Rising.

And be sure to check out creator Matt Gardner's first foray into flash funniness featuring our favorite mutants with X-Men: Death Becomes Them. Phew.

Saturday, February 19, 2005

Superman is NOT a dick

I know it's making the rounds that Superman is a dick. And, while it's hard to argue that those covers certainly make it appear that Superman is...kind of a dick...I must respectfully disagree.

I mean, how many times has the guy saved our nation? How many times has he saved the world? Seriously. Cut the guy some slack already. Jeesh.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Seen on the Subway:

A young, black student (18-20 years old) eating a twinkie and reading an issue of Runaways. This is how comics should be read. There's nothing wrong with a dog-eared, well-loved, well-read issue of a new comic book. Comics should be read and enjoyed. They should be cheap and accessible and fun. Runaways is probably one of the best new books on the market and it was pretty cool to see someone reading it on the subway.

YOU should be reading Runaways. Right now. Go on! Get!

Passing the Guck(ert)

Sidney Blumenthal illustrates how this administration is undermining the legitimacy of an independent press with all their dirty tricks. As he concludes:

But the affair's longer-run implication is the Republican effort to sideline an independent press and undermine its legitimacy. "Spin" seems too quaint. "In this day and age," said McClellan, waxing philosophical about the Gannon affair, "when you have a changing media, it's not an easy issue to decide or try to pick and choose who is a journalist." The problem is not that the White House press secretary cannot distinguish who is or is not a journalist; it is that there are no journalists, just the gaming of the system for the concentration of power.

Meanwhile, Daily Kos updates us on the White House gigolo, pointing out how obvious it is that the White House aided and abetted James Guckert.

And of course, the mainstream media has been diligently following this case...oh, wait. They're not. Sigh.

Comics that make you pucker up

I just love how eager Batman looks on this cover. I wonder if he's just anxious to kiss Lois, or if maybe he's looking forward to sticking it to Superman by making out with his girlfriend.

And yes, I am aware of how the phrase "sticking it to Superman" sounds, especially in this context. However, my observation stands.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Enough already

I've been ranting about James Guckert and the Orwellian implications of the White House's manipulation of the media over in Blue Notes; I think I've managed to link to every major piece of evidence on the gay prositute-turned-White-House-reporter, but the fact remains:


Reporters have lied before. Reporters have made up stories. Stephen Glass and Jayson Blair are just two recent examples of this journalistic dishonesty. But this is bigger. Guckert had access to the White House. More importantly, the White House seemed to be using him to further their political agenda. He may have even been involved in leaking the identity of CIA agent Valerie Plame, a felony. Guckert wasn't making up stories, per se; he was parroting GOP press releases and spouting White House propaganda as if they were real stories. Talon News isn't even a real news's more like a GOP press release generator. Yet, there "Jeff Gannon" sat, asking the President of the United States softball questions. "Oh," THEY say, "but we all knew he was conservative. That's fine for a reporter to ask politically pointed questions during White House press briefings." Really? I wonder, are writers for Daily Kos afforded the same privileges as Guckert?

And we know the White House has paid columnists to spout propaganda as if it were the truth. Armstrong Williams gets caught doing it. The White House then LIES about it, saying it's an "isolated incident." Then - shocker - we discover that columnist Maggie Gallagher was also bought by the White House. But, I'm sure it stops th - - oh, a THIRD columnist, Michael McManus, was also on the take.

And then comes the Guckert bombshell. In little over a month, we have discovered that the WHITE HOUSE has planted, played, and paid off the media. FOUR SEPERATE CASES of deliberate manipulation...and what? Where's the outcry? We've been lied to; bamboozled, as Malcolm X would say. And what do we do? Nothing. The lies continue and we sit back, knowing we've been lied to before, and we swallow the new lies. It's an abusive relationship at its worst - how long do we need to be beaten before we take a stand? Even J-Lo knew when ENOUGH was enough. If J-Lo can do it, so can we. It's time for all Americans to stand up - maybe take some kick-boxing lessons - and say, "Enough."

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Stan "The Company Man" Lee

I like Gerard Jones. And I certainly concede that he has far more experience in the comic book industry than me. But I think his Op-Ed in today's LA Times totally misses the mark.

Jones glosses over Stan Lee's actual legal battle with Marvel, instead focusing on creator rights. Lee's lawsuit against Marvel, however, was not about creator rights - it was about honoring a 1998 contract, which Marvel failed to do. Comicon's the Pulse has a nice little summary of the case over here.

Surely, creator rights is an important issue. But Stan Lee's lawsuit was not about affording creators rights they should have (which is what so many creator rights lawsuits are about); Lee's lawsuit was about a major corporation honoring a contract that guarantees a creator very specific rights.

And I've seen/read/heard enough interviews with Stan Lee in which he quickly credits his collaborators (Jack Kirby, Steve Ditko, etc.) to know that whatever happened in the past, Stan's got no problem now giving other creators their rightful due.

The fact is, Stan was a company man. Marvel was his company. He stuck by the company through thick and thin. When his company was screwing his friends, he made some tough decisions, and ultimately, he stuck by his company. Despite the gigantic contributions of all the brilliant artits who helped create Marvel, it was Stan "the Man" Lee who endowed their creations with a vibrant soul, breathing his own hyperbolic life into the characters and stories. He was the front man. He was the face of Marvel, the voice of Marvel, the soul of Marvel. He took the greatest risk, and yielded the greates gain. And in the end, he became so intimately entwined with Marvel that - to this day - you can't think of Marvel without hearing his enthusiastic voice bellowing, "Hey, true believers!"

Why should Stan be blamed for making a smart business move? Certainly, he served Marvel well as the ultimate spokesman - just because he wasn't a schlub doesn't mean that he doesn't deserve what he's earned. In the end, he made a very wise career move. And when Marvel was in trouble in the late 90's, he signed a very unique contrat with them, which was mutually beneficial to both parties. No one could have predicted Marvel's wild success in the new millenium based on close of the 20th Century. But I guarantee - had Stan owed Marvel instead of vice-versa, Marvel would've dragged Stan into court so fast, it would make Matt Murdoch's neck snap.

The bottom line is, business is business. Should other creators get what Stan got? Well, they didn't sign the contract that Stan signed in 1998. Stan's contract clearly states:

f) In addition, you shall be paid participation equal to 10% of the profits derived during your life by Marvel (including subsidiaries and affiliates) from the profits of any live action or animation television or movie (including ancillary rights) productions utilizing Marvel characters. This participation is not to be derived from the fee charged by Marvel for the licensing of the product or of the characters for merchandise or otherwise. Marvel will compute, account and pay to you your participation due, if any, on account of said
profits, for the annual period ending each March 31 during your life, on an annual basis within a reasonable time after the end of each such period.

We should no more villify Stan for collecting on what his contract specifies than we should blame Marvel for capitalizing on the success of the Spider-Man movies. It's business. Marvel is a lot of things, but it's still a company. And who better to win big against a giant company than the ultimate company man.

UPDATED: I will say, however, that Jones' point that even "the face of the company" was not above being screwed is a good one. And he's right. Just think of what the state of the current industry could be like if creators were encouraged to continue creating new characters for the Big 2, instead of strip-mining the past to keep the companies on life support.

Monday, February 14, 2005

Young Monkeys in Love

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

Geek chic

Randy Braun reminds me that, as we prepare for Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, we must never forget - no matter what George Lucas says:

Friday, February 11, 2005

Another moment of silence

Another giant passes from this earth.


Arthur Miller. Another poet, another conscience, another brilliant mind lost at a time when our world so desperately needs his voice.

Some deaths you just feel - even though you didn't know them personally. Some deaths just reverberate and ripple across the universe and you're suddenly aware of an emptiness...of a presence that should be there, but is not.

His words changed my young life. And, I believe, his words will continue to change our world. I know our world is better for having had him in it.

UPDATED: Ross does manage to put it all in perspective, however:

"Still--he wrote some of the world's best literature and got to fuck Marilyn Monroe.
At least he had a good run."

Thank you, Ross. We should all be so lucky.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Where are you spending your Friday night?

I shall be spending my evening with these two lovely ladies.

I'll be trying out some new stand-up material at the Sweet Paprika show tomorrow night at 8:30 pm. It's a great show and it's only $5. Hm. I should probably start practicing my set...

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

So many bloggin' blogs!

Because we don't have enough political blogs, here's another one, run by me and a campaign buddy of mine, Jared Craft. We worked together on the Kerry campaign in PA. I figure, my political rants can be a little more focused if it's on a strictly political blog ... and it's also a chance to shed some light on some of the lesser-covered issues, like W's ideas for tort reform. Check it out, if'n ya like. Meanwhile, I'll be trying to focus more on the funny here. And hopefully, I'll be posting some upcoming stand-up comedy dates soon. Soon.

Thursday, February 03, 2005

If you live in NYC, don't own a car.

Alternate side parking had been suspended...until today. So, at 8 am, I took a shovel and dug my car out of the snow that still covered it, managed to drive out of my spot, and then spent nearly an hour looking for a new place to park it. And I hardly even use my car much, anymore. Mainly, just to drive back and forth to MA, for return trips home.

I think it's time to consider getting rid of the car...

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Happy Groundhog Day!

Here's what's going on in your world today.

When one is deployed on Active Duty, there are many holidays you end up missing or celebrating overseas, apart from family and friends. However, the most apt holiday for service members is probably Groundhog's Day. "Why?" you may or may not ask.

Well, almost every day is the same. You wake up, you do your mission, you eat, sleep, maybe you you smoke a stogie and enjoy a drink or three. But, aside from the occassional slight deviations in the formula (reacting to an attack, for example) every day is basically the same. Same place, same surroundings, same people, same everything. Just like the movie Groundhog Day.

And once a year, Rummy comes out of his hole and if he sees his shadow, it's another 6 months of deployment!

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Who will watch THE WATCHMEN?

WARNING: This post is neither humorous, nor is it particularly coherent. Continue reading at your own risk.

As the Beat reports, production will begin on The Watchmen movie, a movie that has been rumored to be in the making since 1987.

How would I make my Watchmen movie? Well, since no one has asked, I'll tell you.

First off, I wouldn't make it into a movie, per se. I wouldn't try to cram everything into a 2-3 hour movie. There's no way to condense that much raw storytelling into so short an amount of time, and still carry the same emotional and dramatic impact.

Instead, I believe Watchmen would be best translated to the screen via an HBO or Showtime mini-series. That way, you can almost shot-for-shot translate each individual chapter into its own episode.

Why does Watchmen work so well? Because it operates on a number of different levels. It's not just the main plot line of a detective story/murder mystery that captivates readers. It's the depth, and the commentary on the artform as a whole that speaks to readers on deeper levels. The format and pacing of Watchmen is just as important as the detailed minutia of the world they inhabit. To streamline it in any way takes away the things that made it so unique. When reading it, you had several different plotlines running throughout the series that somehow all managed to converge into a thought-provoking conclusion. Would Dr. Manhattan's decision to leave our plane of existence have been so dramatic if we hadn't taken a pause in the action to recount his personal story? Would our connection to Hollis Mason be as strong without the excerpts from his autobiography to flesh out his character? A movie version has a number of difficult hurdles to overcome, not the least of which is deciding which elements to cut and which elements to keep.

A mini-series would solve a number of these dilemmas. In a mini-series, you can keep all of the elements. You can capture the pacing and the depth of each individual comic book chapter, taking the appropriate time to delve into characters' backgrounds and psyches, without interupting the dramatic flow. In a movie, you can't just abruptly halt the linear progression and spend 20 minutes recounting Dr. Manhattan's past. It wouldn't have the same impact and it would seem disjointed. Movies have a different tempo, one that Watchmen would have to be molded to fit. With a mini-series, you could capture the essence of each chapter, making each individual episode its own distinct piece, but a piece that fits neatly into the overall puzzle. And just as each issue of Watchmen provided readers with some background history on the characters and their world, so too, could you translate this to the small screen. The first episode could end with Hollis reading from his autobiography, a la books on tape, over either illustrated storyboards or even grainy re-enactments of his prose. There are a number of possibilities. In this way, you could capture the same spirit of storytelling that made reading Watchmen so unique.

The Pirate comics.

A minor, but important, parallel in the book is "the Tales of the Black Freighter." Why is it important? One, it cleverly answers the question of what kinds of comics are produced in a world full of superheroes? (A: Pirate comics!) Two, the Jolly Roger Skull and Crossbones of the pirate flag neatly mirror several other symbols in the comic, including the radiation symbol, the neon drug store sign, and at times, the image of Rorschach's mask. Three, it's written by one of the authors who ends up on the secret island and helps create the "space alien" for the story's climax. Four, the pirate story cleverly parallels a hero's decent into madness, as the protoganist in the pirate story inadvertantly becomes the monster he is trying to protect his loved ones against. Ozymandias ultimately becomes the villain in his mad plot to "save" the world...and he even mentions a dream of swimming toward a black ghost ship, evoking the final image of the Black Freighter story. Again, while a minor point, it serves as a nifty symbolic outline of the story's overall dramatic structure. A powerful flourish that most likely will be lost in translation to film, but one which could be kept in television series, through animated sequences as the boy reads his pirate comics. While a movie would almost certainly need to cut these sequences for time, a series provides the flexibility to more fully explore all of the book's themes.

I also think the story needs to be set in the alternate reality of the 1980s, as almost a retro-neo-futuristic cautionary tale - one which wouldn't really work as well if set in a post-9/11 world, for obvious reasons. Which is another obstacle a movie version would have to overcome. The electric cars and Gunga Diners serve as subtle distinctions of how superheroes changed the world and could be set in modern times...and yet, to set it even 20 years in the comic book's future (our current time) takes away from the immediate impact of those Cold War heroes. The characters are very much of their time and to update them in any way would drastically alter them. The Comedian who lived through the fall of the Berlin Wall and the end of the Cold War would be a very different figure from the Comedian of the comic book.

The format of Watchmen (I believe) is just as important as the content, as the style comments on the substance and vice versa. Watchmen was as much a commentary on the comic book art form as it was a commentary on the geo-political and social turmoil of the 1980s, and to adapt it into something else takes away from its power and prestige. If you can't make it right, I'd prefer it not be made at all.

Being a fan, I wish the movie makers the best, but I wonder if trying to make Watchmen into a movie isn't a losing proposition - a project destined to fail; an ambitious attempt doomed to fall far short of expectations; an impossible ideal. A noble effort begun with good intentions that will ultimately lead down the dark path of lunacy and straight into the icy depths toward the shadowy silhouette of "the Black Freighter."