Okay. So I don't actually have any old notebooks. Most of my comedy bits and set lists are scrawled on the back of bar napkins. As it should be. But, as I was trying to generate some new material, my thoughts drifted back to some of the old bits I used to do.
Every once in a while, you need to dust off some of those old bits just to remind yourself of why you no longer do them. Here are some oldies but goodies* from the ol' vault. And yes, I actually performed these "jokes." Onstage. In front of an audience. Often, to laughter. The world was different then...
*please note: jokes may not be older than 5 years and they may not be "goodies." Mileage may vary. Some restrictions may apply. Not applicable in Montana.
"If the commerical goes, 'Don't push a friend, push a Push Pop!' then following the same logic, for a Blow Pop...."
"Watching a Beck's beer commercial and they have the tagline: 'Beck's. What Germans do best.' Now, I'm no historian, but when I think of what Germans do best, beer's a little further down the list. Maybe they should just be more accurate and change their tagline to: 'Beck's. What Germans do second best.'"
"I have a problem with bi-sexual girls. I know I should love them, but I can't. It's like they want to have their cake and eat it, too."
I'm doing a set tonight. None of the above material will be used. Details below.
Tuesday, July 12th @ 10PM
Drop by and say 'hi.' Uh, and let's never speak of those old bits again. I'm glad we had this talk.