Friday, December 30, 2005

and the countdown begins

May your New Year be filled with peace, happiness, and success.

It's gotta be better than 2005, right?

Here's to good things in 2006. Lots of mazel.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005


Know what happens when guys in hard hats work on a busted water main outside your apartment?

You end up with no water!


*Thanks to the GCD for the cover image.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Quizzes never lie

It's a bird, it's a plane, it'! Don't mean to brag, but...

Your results:
You are Superman

Green Lantern
The Flash
Iron Man
Wonder Woman
You are mild-mannered, good,
strong and you love to help others.
Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Merry Christmas poor people!

Yay! We're gonna shave 2.5 percent off of the 1.6 TRILLION dollar shortfall by screwing old folks and students! Yay!!!

The Republican-controlled Senate passed legislation to cut federal deficits by $39.7 billion on Wednesday by the narrowest of margins, 51-50, with Vice President Dick Cheney casting the deciding vote.

The measure, the product of a year's labors by the White House and the GOP in Congress, imposes the first restraints in nearly a decade in federal benefit programs such as Medicaid, Medicare and student loans.

Because, you know, that's where all the wasteful spending is...

By themselves, the deficit cuts included in the five-year bill would amount to only 2.5 percent of projected shortfalls totaling $1.6 trillion over the same time frame. Republicans said the significance lies in more than mere numbers, adding that programs such as Medicare and Medicaid threaten to consume an unsustainable amount of federal revenue if their growth is not trimmed quickly.

Home health care payments under Medicare would be frozen at current levels for a year under the bill, Medicaid regulations would be changed to make it harder for the elderly to qualify for federal nursing home benefits by turning assets over to their children.

Lender subsidies are reduced as part of an attempt to squeeze $12.6 billion from student loan programs. Another provision raises $3.6 billion for the Pension Benefit Guaranty Corp., the federal agency that protects certain pension plans. The money would come from an increase in the premium employers pay for each covered worker or retiree, and from a fee on companies that end their pension plans.

So, the government is squeezing pennies from students who desperately need all the money they can get (*cough*) and forcing employees to pay a HIGHER PREMIUM for reduced pension benefits...

Thanks GOP! You really ARE a Grand Old Party!

Merry f*#@in' Christmas!

holiday (re-)hash

Finishing out my first semester of grad school, I suddenly realize that 2005 is almost over.

And, in the interests of trying to keep this blog updated (and failing), I am posting a link to an April post of mine, in honor of new buzz surrounding (yet again) the planned Watchmen movie. Since the upcoming movie will most likely never live up to expectations (if it even gets made), I've decided to remain positive and celebrate the wonder of what could be a Watchmen musical, as written by me. And Ross.


Watchmen: the Musical!

Oh, Johnny


Friday, December 16, 2005

plugging away

End of the semester for me, which means lots of writing, very little blogging. How will any of you survive?

For those in the NYC area on Monday, come see me do a tight 7-minute set at Stand-Up NY.

Monday, December 19th @ 9PM
Stand-Up New York
236 West 78th Street, New York City

And don't worry; the trains should all be running on time because the current unions are pussies.

You know why the MTA won't change their offer? Because the unions set a deadline of midnight last night and then...they blinked. They extended the deadline. And when they caved before getting any of their demands met, they lost.

Now, I pay $76/month for an unlimited metro pass. And I certainly want the subway to run smoothly, my service uninterrupted. But I gotta say, the unions really let me down here. Shutting down the city's transit system, that's a display of power. That's the ultimate trump card, the: "we run this city, don't fuck with us" bargaining chip. When they called off the strike, they sent another message to the MTA: we don't have the balls to call your bluff. The MTA is also winning the PR war, as their commuter-friendly contingency plan demonstrates. And so, the MTA will win this argument. The union lost all credibility and, even worse, displayed their utter lack of conviction. Sad, really.

Oh, well. At least I can still ride the train. Yay.

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Richard Pryor (1940-2005)

Richard Pryor, the caustic yet perceptive actor-comedian who lived dangerously close to the edge both on stage and off, died Saturday. He was 65.

Pryor died shortly before 8 a.m. of a heart attack after being taken to a hospital from his home in the San Fernando Valley, said his business manager, Karen Finch. He had been ill for years with multiple sclerosis, a degenerative disease of the nervous system.

"Fuck'n is good for you, jack. Gettin' some pussy beats having a war." -Richard Pryor

Friday, December 09, 2005

who ya gonna Call?

The BENARI multi-media extravaganza continues! Tonight, I'll be appearing on NY1's The Call at 9 PM, for all you New Yorkers out there. Our own Danny Newbower will also be on. So definitely tune in. You don't wanna miss what is sure to be a spectacular train wreck!

Basic cable news will never be the same.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

we all shine on

Tonight! Tonight only!

You can hear me live at 10 PM on WBZ, 1030 AM. I will be the resident Beatles expert on The Paul Sullivan Show, as we discuss the 25th anniversary of John Lennon's assassination.

Tune in, call in, and shine on.


You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one

John Winston Ono Lennon
Oct 9, 1940 - Dec 8, 1980

Thursday, December 01, 2005

I don't speak gibberish

The hell?

What is this? Anyone speak French? Can anyone out there translate this perhaps?

What kind of a crazy list am I on here?

And why? Dear God, WHY?!

Monkey Pimpin' Daddies

Great Caesar's Ghost! It's BIG MONKEY COMICS! Washington, DC and nearby Fredericksburg, Virginia will never be the same!

Check out their online website.


Comic book reviews, blogs, and fan forums!


Your favorite Super Hero-themed songs on Big Monkey Radio!


Comics online! Or visit them in person at their real world locations and talk to real live human beings!

Run by DC lovin' Scipio and Seven Hells dwellin' Devon, Big Monkey Comics is sure to be a blast. Go support those comic book lovin' fools!

Speaking of which...


Thanks to the fine folks at Rocketship for another fun evening of Q&A with Swedens's own Martin Kellerman. Congrats Alex and Mary! Nice turnout, interesting discussion and a unique look at the distinction between the American comic book market and oversees markets. And, it introduced me to the world of Kellerman's Rocky, which I will be checking out more of, in the near future.

Oh, and I met more actual real live people who usually lurk 'neath the icey depths of the dark and mysterious internet. Lookin' at you, Joe. Weird. I thought bloggers didn't actually exist. Maybe I'll run into the Easter Bunny today...