Monday, October 31, 2005


President nominates another old, rich white guy to the Supreme Court!

So consistently conservative, [appeals court judge Samuel] Alito has been dubbed “Scalito” or “Scalia-lite” by some lawyers because his judicial philosophy invites comparisons to conservative Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia. But while Scalia is outspoken and is known to badger lawyers, Alito is polite, reserved and even-tempered.

Awesome! He might legally bitch slap you back to pre-1950s America, but he does it with a smile.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

and a brooklyn shout out to... favorite neighborhood comicbook store Rocketship for a great booksigning party last night.

Check out all the fun here.

Well done, lads and ladies. Good time, all around.

welcome back

I'm really enjoying the hero's welcome that Tedy Bruschi's been getting during tonight's ESPN broadcast game.

Good to have ya back, Tedy.

"I am, I am, I am Superman..."

Oh, those crazy Austrians. You WILL believe a man can fail to fly.

GRAZ, Austria - A man who claimed he was Superman and could fly was hospitalized early Tuesday after leaping from a fourth-floor window, authorities said.

Paramedics rushed the 23-year-old man to a hospital in the city of Graz, about 120 miles south of Vienna, after he jumped from a window and suffered head and back injuries, police said.

They said the man — who apparently had drunk several bottles of red wine before attempting the jump — appeared at the window ledge at around 4 a.m. and shouted: "I am Superman! Nothing can happen to me!"

The jumper, whose name was not released, landed on part of a lower section and roof, sparing him from more serious injuries, authorities said.

Rosa Parks, February 4, 1913 – October 24, 2005

On Sunday, Parks becomes the first woman to lie in honor in the vast circular room under the Capitol dome in Washington, D.C.

Memories of our lives, of our works and our deeds will continue in others.
Rosa Parks

Each person must live their life as a model for others.
Rosa Parks

All I was doing was trying to get home from work.
Rosa Parks

People always say that I didn't give up my seat because I was tired, but that isn't true. I was not tired physically, or no more tired than I usually was at the end of a working day. I was not old, although some people have an image of me as being old then. I was forty-two. No, the only tired I was, was tired of giving in.
Rosa Parks

Presidential Medal of Freedom:

"On December 1, 1955, going home from work, Rosa Parks boarded a city bus in Montgomery, Alabama, and with one modest act of defiance, changed the course of history. By refusing to give up her seat, she sparked the Montgomery bus boycott and helped launch the civil rights movement. In the years since, she has remained committed to the cause of freedom, speaking out against injustice here and abroad.

Called the First Lady of Civil Rights, Rosa Parks has demonstrated, in the words of Robert Kennedy, that each time a person strikes out against injustice, she sends forth the tiny ripple of hope, which, crossing millions of others, can sweep down the walls of oppression."

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Superman II: Electric Boogaloo

So, remember that fan-made version of Superman II using lost Donner footage?

Looks like the studio got the picture:

An all-new special edition of Superman II, re-cut by Richard Donner.

Kneel before Zod.

Friday, October 28, 2005

Bitch Slap Friday

Ever have one of those days when you just need to bitch slap some folks?

Yeah. Me, too.

Aquaman knows what I'm talkin' 'bout.

Bitch Slap o' the Day:


Vice presidential adviser I. Lewis "Scooter' Libby Jr. was indicted Friday on charges of obstruction of justice, making a false statement and perjury in the CIA leak case.

Karl Rove, President Bush's closest adviser, escaped indictment Friday but remained under investigation, his legal status a looming political problem for the White House.

The indictments stem from a two-year investigation by special counsel Patrick Fitzgerald into whether Rove, Libby or any other administration officials knowingly revealed the identity of CIA agent Valerie Plame or lied about their involvement to investigators.

The five-count indictment accuses Libby of lying about how and when he learned about CIA official Plame's identity in 2003 and then told reporters about it. The information was classified.

Thursday, October 27, 2005


Forget the fact that this Michigan woman was working part-time and only making $9 an hour. Forget the fact that her husband is being deployed to Iraq for at least a year, probably more. Forget the fact that corporate America sucks.

This story really drives home the point that normal America does not give a rat's ass about being at WAR.

From the AP:

A woman who took an unpaid leave of absence from work to see her husband off to war with an Indiana National Guard unit has been fired after failing to show up for her part-time receptionist job the day following his departure.

"It was a shock," said Suzette Boler, a 40-year-old mother of three and grandmother of three. "I was hurt. I felt abandoned by people I thought cared for me. I sat down on the floor and cried for probably two hours."

Officials at her former workplace, Benefit Management Administrators Inc., a Caledonia employee-benefits company, confirmed that Boler was dismissed when she didn't report to work the day after she said goodbye to her husband of 22 years.

"We gave her sufficient time to get back to work," Clark Galloway, vice president of operations for Benefit Management, told The Grand Rapids Press for a story Wednesday.

He added that other factors were involved in the decision, but he declined to elaborate.

On Oct. 16, Boler went with her husband, Army Spc. Jerry Boler, 45, to an Indianapolis-area airfield, where he and others in his National Guard unit gathered to be transported to Fort Dix, N.J. The unit will soon be deployed to Iraq, where he will help guard convoys from insurgent attacks.

Although the Bolers moved to western Michigan 14 years ago, Jerry Boler, a diesel mechanic, decided to remain with his Bloomington, Ind.-based Guard unit, the 150th Field Artillery Regiment.

Suzette Boler had received permission to take off work the week leading up to her husband's departure. As a part-time employee at Benefit Management, she did not receive vacation pay and was not compensated for her time off.

She usually worked Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays answering telephones, entering claims information and greeting visitors and clients. Boler, who said she considers herself a reliable employee with good work habits, was employed at the company for 14 months and earned $9 per hour.

Boler recalled being asked, not ordered, to start back at her job Oct. 17, the day after her husband left. She told her bosses that she would try to return that day but if she could not, she would definitely be back Oct. 18, she said.

When Boler returned home from Indiana on the night of Oct. 16, a few hours after leaving her husband at the airfield, she said she felt drained by the emotional ordeal and decided to return to work Oct. 18.

But on the afternoon of Oct. 17, she received a call from work telling her to come in the following day and get her things because she was being fired. Her pink slip said the reason was she failed to show up for work Oct. 17, a Monday.

"If I had even an inkling that I would be fired for not coming in Monday, I would have been there," she said.

Sorry your husband is being shipped off to war. Screw you, lady! But don't worry, at a Specialist's pay rate (as an E-4, his base pay will be LESS than $2,000/month), I'm sure you patriotic folks willing to sacrifice for your country will somehow manage to survive. Meanwhile, we here at Benefit Management Administrators, Inc. will continue to exploit the poor and working class through low wages while simultaneously spitting in your face as your husband defends our right to do so. Ha HA! Corporate America wins again, suckers!

Okay - so. She didn't show up on the 17th, after taking a WEEK of UNPAID vacation. Isn't there someone in the compnay who is supposed to talk to her, find out if she's doing all right, find out what her circumstances may be? Someone to say, "hey, I understand. What can we do to make things better?" Maybe they just hate military families.

But wait, Benari. You don't know all the facts.

No. I don't. I don't know what her history at the company is like. But I do know bad timing and a callous disregard for human beings. This woman is in the middle of some very emotional circumstances - at the very least, a little special care should be given to ANYONE who has to endure a deployment. I think they could cut her a little slack this time. Until the rest of the US of A begins feeling the heavy impact of WAR, things like this will continue happening. Because we're delusional. We think everything can and should run normally - better than normal! - even when we're fighting two different wars on two different fronts in two different countries. We've been at war overseas for about 4 years now. We've been at war in Iraq for over 2 years. And so far, the only Americans who have truly been impacted by this have been military families, expected to bear the brunt of America's sacrifice. It's getting old.

Now, here's something interesting. I wanted to call up this company and register my extreme displeasure at their utter disregard for what this woman may be going through. But when I went to their website,, to find some contact info, I got this message:

Our website is currently down. Please check back at a later time. We apologize for the inconvenience.

I guess I wasn't the only one who wanted to get in touch with these guys. That's encouraging. And with a little more googling, I was able to come up with a number and an address:

N. Henry Bledsoe
Benefit Management Administrators, Inc.
9365 Cherry Valley Ave
Caledonia, MI 49316
Phone: 616-891-1984
Fax: 616-891-9009

Give 'em a call or drop 'em a nice letter or an e-mail. Remember to use civil language. And small words.

But, wait, Benari. All she had to do was show up to work the day after her husband got deployed! Aren't you getting a little carried away here?

You know what. When you get deployed or when your husband/wife/father/mother/son/daughter/loved one gets deployed, then you can talk to me about showing up to work the next day. Until then:

The OTHER white Sox

And somewhere ol' Shoeless Joe Jackson is smilin'...

Congratulations to that other long-suffering Sox team. Congrats to the White Sox on being the second Sox team in two years to sweep the World Series.

And the guy I'm happiest for? Only one of the greatest catchers to ever play the game, the man who wore both red AND white sox, the man who hit one of the single greatest homeruns of all time...

Pudge himself. Mr. Carlton Fisk.

2 curses broken in two years. Next year:

Let's go Cubs!

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

mourner's kaddish

As we hit some somber milestones in Iraq, I'd like to take a moment to remember the fallen, the brothers and sisters I've lost, and ALL those who have lost their lives in war.

Yit-gadal v'yit-kadash sh'mey raba, b'alma di v'ra hirutey, vyam-lih mal-hutey b'ha-yey-hon uv'yomey-hon uv'ha-yey d'hol beyt yisrael ba-agala u-vizman kariv, v'imru amen.

(Congregation and Mourners:)
Y'hey sh'mey raba m'varah l'alam ul'almey alma-ya.

Yit-barah v'yish-tabah v'yit-pa-ar v'yit-romam v'yit-na-sey v'yit-hadar v'yit-aleh v'yit-halal sh'mey d'kud-sha, b'rih hu, leyla* min kol bir-hata v'shi-rata tush-b'hata v'ne-hemata da-amiran b'alma, v imru amen.

Y'hey sh'lama raba min sh'ma-ya, v'ha-yim aleynu v'al kol yisrael, vimru amen.

Oseh shalom bim-romav, hu ya-aseh shalom aleynu v'al kol yisrael, v'imru amen.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005


Spent the past weekend outside, in the rain and bitter cold, carrying a heavy ruck and firing my M-16, crawling around in the dirt and mud, driving around in Humvees. I got back Sunday night, tired, dirty, and sore.

Jealous much?

On the plus side, I got pampered with a long, hot bubble bath upon my return. So it works out to about even, I'd say.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Ess oh see, kay ess?

Nevermind why.

But if it's 1:30 AM and you're in New York City, you can swing into any 24-hour CVS or Duane Reade or Rite-Aid and get yourself a snack, a toothbrush, some Q-Tips, eyeliner, deodorant, a coloring book, a Hallmark card for mom ... you can even get yourself some Haines boxer briefs.

Know what you can't get if you're fella?


Normal, average, everyday, cheap white socks. They don't got 'em. Oh, they have plenty o' sox for the ladies: cotton socks, knee socks, toe socks, bobby socks, stockings, nylons...whatever. All for the ladies. But for the dudes? Nothing. No socks for the guys.

What the - ?!

Maybe it's 2 in the morning and I need a cheap pair of clean socks. What's wrong with that? People need socks. Guys need socks. And I can't get 'em. Why? Y. Because I have a y chromosome. That's why.

Equal rights, that's all I'm asking. Don't we, as men, deserve to purchase inexpensive socks at one in the morning, too? Is that too much to ask?

...cuz I ain't wearin' no ladies' socks, no way, no how.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

How the death of a comedian always brings us back to Watchmen

I was saddened by the recent suicide of ex-SNL cast member Charles Rocket...

my condolences to his friends and family.

His death actually got Ross and I talking about that era of comedy and the ill-fated and somewhat unfairly mocked cast for Saturday Night Live, circa 1980-1985. Following the original Not-Ready-For-Prime-Time Players was no easy task and the mismanaged and disjointed production of the early 80s SNL had the misfortune of going through its evolution and growing pains live, on-air. Not to mention the petty backstage politics that I'm sure were involved ...

And Rocket seems to personify everything that went wrong during that time. I always thought it was unfair that Rocket's one claim to fame - uttering the word "fuck" on live television - cost him the rest of his career, basically. In truth, he did the one thing that everyone had been waiting for since the beginning of SNL - he proved the dangerous truth of live, late-night comedy and uttered the magic four-letter word that strikes fear into the hearts of middle America. For the briefest of moments, Rocket made SNL as dangerous, as edgy as it always promised it could be. But, as comics all know, timing is everything, so Charles Rocket was punished for the sins of the 1980 season.

And 25 years later, he took his life ("as lovers often do") before VH1 could cram him into a house with Al Molinaro and Spuds MacKenzie*.

*doG rest her soul, as well.

So, as an aspiring comic, I think it's important to pay respect to Charles Rocket ... paraphrasing the end of an uber-geeky conversation with Ross, following news of Rocket's death. No, I'm not proud. But death be not proud, either.

Ross: only question is, who's next.

Me: You mean, you think someone's killing off SNL cast members from the early 80s?

Ross: Like a serial killer.

Me: Like Watchmen.

Ross: So, we've just made Charles Rocket the Comedian?

Me: Yeah.

Ross: You know that makes Tim Kazurinsky Rorschach.

Me: Then Eddie Murphy would have to be Dr. Manhattan. Piscopo?

Ross: Night Owl?

Me: Brian-Doyle Murray would have to be Hollis, then. What about Denny Dillon, Mary Gross, or Robin Duke? Silk Spectre?

Ross: Dude, Julia Louis-Dreyfus is Silk Spectre [II].

Me: Obviously. And Brad, but they came later. Like '82, the Gary Kroeger years.

Ross: Doesn't matter.

Me: What if Brad Hall was really the force behind that era of SNL?

Ross: No, he was really behind Seinfeld.

Me: Oh my God. Brad Hall is behind it all.

Ross: SNL?

Me: Brad Hall is Veidt. He did it. It was Brad Hall all along.

Ross: Oh, man. We just made Brad Hall Ozymandias.

(slight pause)

Me: You know that makes Gilbert Gottfried Hooded Justice.

Ross: I think you need to stop there.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Gone In New York Minute

But...but, I just got here!

Olsen twin Mary-Kate returns to LA

She gave living a normal life a shot, but it seems Mary-Kate Olsen is just too Hollywood.

The kookier one of the mega-rich Olsen Twins has gone on a leave of absence from New York University to concentrate on her role as co-president of her mega-billion dollar entertainment company Dualstar.

Meanwhile, identical sister Ashley is staying at the institution.

Mary-Kate has had a rough year, battling rumours of anorexia, cocaine abuse and failed relationships.

Not great attributes for an average college student - but perfect for a Tinseltown big cheese.

Perhaps that's why she is coming back to the West Coast - it is the one place where everyone else has just as many problems as her?

The 19-year-old twins have been in the limelight since they were a year old.

I hope Ashley is able to handle school without her twin sister. Perhaps she needs some consoling...

...on the cover of the Rolling Stone

Well, well, well. Oh, well.

Lookit who got his and herself ranked the number one magazine cover --->

Oh, my. John's a bit nekkid there. The kids love them some naked John Lennon, I guess. Still. Quite the frivolous honor. Love is the answer.

Friday, October 14, 2005

No way, Jose!

I could tell you about the new super secret spy organization, but I'd have to kill you.

Undercover CIA official picked to oversee human spywork

By Katherine Shrader, Associated Press October 14, 2005

WASHINGTON -- A top CIA manager who remains undercover will soon oversee the traditional human spying activities for the entire intelligence community, a position created in the intelligence changes after the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001.

Publicly, he is referred to as ''Jose," said US officials, who spoke on condition of anonymity because the plan's full details had yet to be released.

Jose's posting as head of the new National Clandestine Service ends weeks of debate over whether the CIA would retain its role as the primary agency responsible for traditional human spywork, as an increasing number of US national security agencies take on this type of work.

He will now broadly coordinate operations for the FBI, Defense Department, and other agencies involved in human intelligence, or the information gathered by people, rather than by technical means.

Jose now serves as the director of the CIA's clandestine service, which handles the agency's human intelligence gathering.

Forming a National Clandestine Service was one of more than 70 recommendations from President Bush's commission on weapons of mass destruction, which released a bruising report in March about the current capabilities of the 15 agencies that make up the US intelligence community.

I just hope the new spy organization gets its own kickass helicarrier!

Wednesday, October 12, 2005


A safe and easy fast to all the Jews this Yom Kippur.

The Day of Atonement.

One day blowout sale; all sin is forgiven. Just give us a day, we'll take away your sins! Come on down to schul and pray for forgiveness. If you can't pray, someone'll pray for ya! We're giving repentance away. We're so crazy, we're mishugina!

Saturday, October 08, 2005

always next year

And the cosmos rights itself. The universe puts itself back in synch once more, as everything returns to normal. The Red Sox are World Champions no more. It was a fun ride while it lasted. Luckily, after last year's spectacular performance, there's a bit of a grace period.

One year down, eighty-five more to go.

Friday, October 07, 2005

click here to get fired

Via The Reverend Tim McIntire, the best spam ever:

From: R.V.D. Veda Prakash
Date: Oct 4, 2005 6:26 AM
Subject: Hitler Didn't die in Bunkar, I have proof

Take look at this website I wrote something about Hitler, Hitler Didn't die
in Bunkar, I have proof read Hitler section in this webpage

By Veda

Thanks, Veda!

Any website that has "swastik" in it has GOT to be good!

And check out Jesus Second Come" (nowhere near as dirty as it sounds) where you can find the answers to such questions as:

Did Jesus was black or white?

On what Symbol based Jesus took the Birth?

What will be the shape of bible I mean old testimony and new testimony? Will be any third testimony?

I myself am an Old Testimony kind of guy, but that's just me.

And yes, there is a special Hitler section. I think it goes without saying that if you are at work, clicking on anything that says "Hitler section" should get you fired.

And don't miss out on this section: Mystery Solution!!!

" This page is for Scientists
Answers for world unsolved mystery's
But I am not good in english"

It might not make any sense at all when you first read it, but just follow the simple instructions and all will be made clear:

Read this section very carefully, if you don't understand this section you won't understand entire web page. Read two times or three times or four times this section only if you don't understand.

Thanks, Tim. I've just blown my entire afternoon reading through the greatest website ever.

"What's that you said, J.C.?"

The White House has denied that US President George W. Bush said God told him to invade Iraq and Afghanistan, as a new BBC documentary is expected to reveal.

That's absurd. He's never made such comments," White House spokesman Scott McClellan said Thursday.

I know. Totally absurd. That'd be like telling a group of Amish voters that God speaks through you. It's like that time, when the President said:

“I trust God speaks through me. Without that, I couldn’t do my job.’’

Or that'd be like if the President said:

I believe that God has planted in every heart the desire to live in freedom.

Or if he said:

"I believe that God wants me to be president."

I mean, that would be totally absurd.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

L'Shanah Tovah

Happy Jew New Year!

After Rosh Hashanah services this year, and taking the time to reflect on my life and what I can do better in the coming year, I'm convinced that if more Jews attended High Holiday services, they wouldn't need therapy.

Monday, October 03, 2005

wild cards

So much time, so little to do. Wait. Strike that. Reverse it.

Sox are in. Just what I need. More distractions from my school work. Oh, obsession.

Harriet Miers. No experience as a judge. Because Presidential nominees with no prior experience in the job to which they've been nominated has worked out so well in the past...

Happy New Year to the Jews! And all our goyim friends, as well.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Curt response

Come on, fellas. It's the end of the season.

Let's just win.

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Knuckle Down

Keep the mojo risin', the strikes a'throwin', and the bats a'swingin'. Let's take the lead today. Hug your dads, call your moms, wear your lucky shirts, rub your magic totems, pray to your gods, light your candles, and put on your rally caps.

It's on.

Let's go Red Sox.


Argh. Shite.

It all rests on Schilling's ankle tomorrow. sigh.