Ess oh see, kay ess?

Nevermind why.

But if it's 1:30 AM and you're in New York City, you can swing into any 24-hour CVS or Duane Reade or Rite-Aid and get yourself a snack, a toothbrush, some Q-Tips, eyeliner, deodorant, a coloring book, a Hallmark card for mom ... you can even get yourself some Haines boxer briefs.

Know what you can't get if you're fella?

Socks.

Normal, average, everyday, cheap white socks. They don't got 'em. Oh, they have plenty o' sox for the ladies: cotton socks, knee socks, toe socks, bobby socks, stockings, nylons...whatever. All for the ladies. But for the dudes? Nothing. No socks for the guys.

What the - ?!

Maybe it's 2 in the morning and I need a cheap pair of clean socks. What's wrong with that? People need socks. Guys need socks. And I can't get 'em. Why? Y. Because I have a y chromosome. That's why.

Equal rights, that's all I'm asking. Don't we, as men, deserve to purchase inexpensive socks at one in the morning, too? Is that too much to ask?

...cuz I ain't wearin' no ladies' socks, no way, no how.