12:01 AM

Yes, I will be watching the midnight viewing of Revenge of the Sith.

Now, really, is there any reason why there have been so many damn reviews of this movie? Seriously. At this point, is it even worth reviewing a Star Wars movie? Somehow, the normal rules of film criticism don't really apply to any movie that has the words "Star Wars" attached to it. Is there anyone out there whose opinion will actually be influenced by a review? Is there anyone out there who will or will not see this movie based upon Slate's opinion?

As far as I can tell, the only reason why anyone even offers up a review of a Star Wars movie at this point, is to brag about how they've seen the movie before the rest of us and to rub it in our faces. "Ooooh, look at me. I've already seen it. And to prove it, I'm going to ruin every conceivable surprise moment for you."

Bah.

I shall watch it tonight and I shall offer no review. OH! And another thing! I hate when reviews start out: "If you liked 'Empire,' then you'll think this movie is awesome!!!" Don't tell me what I'm going to like. I'll decide what I like, thank you very much.

My own council will I keep on which movies I enjoy.

So, as we prepare for the reverse infinity loop that is the double-helix of the final Star Wars film ever to be made, I have decided to trust in the teachings of the wisest of the Jedi, when he sagely stated: "You must unlearn what you have learned."

And just as Yoda taught Luke to clear his mind of all distractions, so too will I enter Revenge of the Sith with an open mind. I will not try to enjoy this movie tonight; I will enjoy it. For, as Master Yoda says in the greatest of the Star Wars films:

"Try not. Do or do not. There is no try."