ASB&R:TBW # 3: Are we there yet?

Okay. I might be the ONLY comic geek on the planet who has no strong feelings one way or the other regarding Frank Miller's All-Star Batman & Robin: The Boy Wonder. I don't think it's horrible and awful, nor do I think it's amazingly hilarious and wonderful. It's just sort of a comic book that's sort of fun to read.

I'll let others debate the merits of repeating the phrase "love chunks" 25 times or whether or not we're in on the "joke" or the butt of the "joke"...nor will I try to mind-read Miller's intentions and declare others to be complete morons for not getting it (whatever "it" might be). All I know is, Frank Miller has stated that this is kind of his Robin: Year One.

We're at issue three now. By the third issue of Batman: Year One, we had been introduced to Bruce Wayne, Alfred, Selina Kyle, Jim Gordon, Sarah Essen, and many others. We learned about Gordon's uphill battle against the corrupt Gotham police force, his impending fatherhood, and his shameful affair. We learned of Selina's beginnings as Catwoman. We learned of Bruce's parents' murder, his vow to fight crime and avenge their deaths, his dedication to justice, and several key events leading to him donning the bat outfit.

By issue three of Batman: Year One, Bruce Wayne had botched his first mission, learned from his mistakes, crafted a reckless and carefree playboy persona for Bruce Wayne as well as the shadow-y mythos of the Batman. He had taken on Gotham's corrupt officials, created alibis, and begun forging a friendship with Jim Gordon. In the third issue, Batman makes a spectacular escape from the swat team and he even saves a cat.

In only four issues of Batman: Year One, Miller created a definitive origin of the Dark Knight. He deftly and concisely intertwined the disparate stories of James Gordon and Bruce Wayne, clearly defined their characters and provided copious amounts of outstanding comic book goodness, complete with quiet introspection and loud 'splosions. Not too shabby for a comic book.

Now, as I said, All-Star Batman & Robin the Boy Wonder is on issue number 3. I won't make an issue-by-issue comparison of the two works because that's not fair and this isn't a "Miller's old stuff is better" argument. But it's issue three and Batman and Dick Grayson (he's not even Robin yet) are still sitting in the Batmobile.

And, having read the issue in question, I just have one request:

Will the goddamn Batman PLEASE get out of the goddamn batmobile and do some goddamn thing already?!

Thank you.