Monday, April 09, 2007

To Serve Manatee

I never really understood why we named that sketch Serve the Whales. I mean, the sketch was about cooking manatees, not whales. Just another reason why they all should have listened to me! But what did I know then? I was only 19.

Back then, I merely thought I was right. Now I KNOW I was.

You see, years ago, before you were born, I was in a Boston sketch group called thank gladys. And we wrote sketches. Some good, some great, and a, a lot that would be best forgotten to the winds of time. Seriously. I mean, one time, I was dressed as a pirate and...let's just not talk about it. Okay?

Occasionally, a news story will jog my failing memory and I think back to those halcyon days of yesteryear. This morning, one such news story brought it all back to me:

The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service might reclassify the manatee as threatened instead of endangered, a move suggesting the marine mammal has rebounded from the brink of extinction, according to an internal memo obtained by The Washington Post.

The March 26 memo says Florida manatees are showing positive growth and adult survival rates, the Post reported Monday.

The agency plans to say that the manatee "no longer meets the definition of an endangered species," according to the memo, which was sent to the White House.

"Zee manatee, gentle giant of the sea. She must be saved, no? So today, we cook her up and eat her!"*

Sometimes, I think I'm only writing these entries for one person. And I am.

*Edited because Ross actually remembered the line. But I'm still right about the title of the sketch.