Monday, July 10, 2006

Open Letter

To the shirtless guy running around the West Village last night waving the flag of Italy:

I see that you're very proud of Italy winning the World Cup, as evidenced by your ceaseless heckling of anyone wearing anything vaguely French-looking and your continued boasts of "We kicked your ass! Italy rules!!"

Being that you were roaming the streets of New York City last night - and not the downtown streets of Berlin, Germany - I can only assume that you yourself did not actually play in the championship game. Based on the intensity and personal nature of your comments - you repeatedly referred to the Italian soccer team as "we" and you seemed to take the most innocuous of activities, such as walking on the sidewalk, as an egregious personal insult to you, the Italian soccer team, and indeed, all of Italy itself - I can only surmise that you are close friends with the players or perhaps have even played for the team in the past. In which case, kudos to you on your hard-fought victory, sir!

I must also praise you for your eagle-eyed awareness, as you keenly observed that the guy wearing the blue GAP t-shirt was, indeed, silently mocking you through colorful expression. Your witty jabs at his masculinity and your insightful thoughts on the French culture truly put him in his place. He'll think twice before wearing THAT Frenchie shirt again!

I commend you for your loyalty to the sport and to the good-natured spirit of the game.

Also, I felt my eyes mist up a little as you marched down 6th Avenue, chanting: "Four more years of tears!"

Four more years of tears, indeed, good sir! Well played!

Yours in Pele,