John Rogers is previewing his entire 8-page "Zombie Tales" story on his blog right now. Go check it out. And then order a copy from Boom! Studios. 
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
Kung-Fu Zombies
Monday, March 21, 2005
Comedy is so glamorous
Oh, the life of a struggling comedian is so glamorous! Why, in the past 2 weeks, I've performed in hotspots around the city, from youth hostels to the basements of bars. Just the other day, I had the pleasure of performing a 5 minute set in the middle of the afternoon to a video camera and a handful of comics, with nary an audience in sight. Yes, comedy. The most respected artform of them all.
Friday, March 18, 2005
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Sappy Paint Haddy's Day
I mean - hic - Pappy Daint Saddy's Day. Haint Daddy's Say. Saint Paddy's Gay. Hic. Day. Hic.
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
GOP Congress rolls over for Male Prostitute
via Raw Story:
The House Judiciary Committee voted against adopting a resolution demanding Bush agencies turn over all credentialing information related to James D. Guckert 21-10, the discredited conservative reporter and prostitute who wrote under the nom de guerre “Jeff Gannon.”
Find out why the GOP doesn't care that a male escort with dubious credentials had unfettered access to secret White House and CIA documents. Call early. Call often. Have friends call. Be respectful. Leave lots of messages. Feel free to e-mail them as well. Let them know you're outraged.
Rep. Howard Coble: (202) 225-3065, (336) 333-5005, (336) 626-3060
Rep. F. James Sensenbrenner: (262) 784-1111, (202) 225-5101
Rep. Lamar Smith: 202-225-4236, 512-402-9743, 210-821-5024
Rep. Steve Chabot: (202) 225-2216, (513) 684-2723
Rep. Chris Cannon: (202) 225-7751, (801) 851-2500,(801) 955-3631
Rep. Spencer Bachus: 202 225-4921, 205 969-2296, 205 333-9894, 205 280-0704
Rep. Randy Forbes: 202-225-6365, 757-382-0080, 804-526-4969,434-634-5575,
Rep. Jeff Flake: (480) 833-0092, (202) 225-2635
Rep. Elton Gallegly: (202) 225-5811, (805) 497-2224,(805) 686-2525
Rep. Trent Franks: 202-225-4576, 623-776-7911
Rep. Louie Gohmert: 202-225-3035
Rep. Bob Goodlatte: (202) 225-5431, (540) 432-2391, (434) 845-8306, (540) 857-2672, (540) 885-3861
Rep. Mark Green: (202) 225-5665, (920) 437-1954, (920) 380-0061,
Rep. John Hostettler: (202) 225-4636, (812) 465-6484, (765) 793-2161,(812) 232-0523,(812) 882-0632
Rep. Bob Inglis: 202-225-6030, 864-232-1141, 864-427-2205, 864-582-6422
Rep. Darrell Issa: 202.225.3906, 760.599.5000, 909.693.2447
Rep. William Jenkins: (202) 225-6356, (423) 247-8161
Rep. Ric Keller: (202) 225-2176, (407) 872-1962, (888) 642-1211, (888) 642-1211
Rep. Steve King: (202) 225-4426, (712) 732-4197, (712) 224 4692, (712) 325-1404
Rep. Dan Lungren: (202) 225-5716, 916-859-9906
Rep. Mike Pence: (202) 225-3021, (765) 640-2919
All contact info was taken from their main congressional websites. Every US Congressman can be found here.
Please feel free to circulate this around the web. Now, get crackin'!
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
Somehow, this doesn't make me feel secure
More e-mail. This time, it's to help keep the ol' Homeland secure!
From : You Can Be A Cop
Sent : Tuesday, March 15, 2005 3:41 AM
To : bpoulten
Subject : Homeland Security Is Everyone's Job
Now, I don't really know what's worse: the fact that they've tied Spam mail into the scare tactics of the Dept. of Homeland Security, the fact that they predict a 29% increase in the need for criminal justice professionals over the next five years, or the fact that they're just randomly soliciting people to become police officers.
I guess any warm body will do, especially if they're the type of person who actually reads their unsolicited spam mail. Um, like I did.
Maybe they saw the picture of me in my uniform, thought I was hot, and decided: "We got to get us some of that."
Maybe.
Monday, March 14, 2005
Sunday, March 13, 2005
What you don't know
Shhhhh. It's a secret.
7 out of 10 Americans are worried about government secrecy.
3 of them can neither confirm nor deny that they were polled.
Friday, March 11, 2005
"Are you threatening me, Master Jedi?"
Revenge of the Sith.
Go watch the trailer (if you haven't seen it already).
I know we've all said that we won't get fooled again. But damn. That's one sweet looking trailer.
Thursday, March 10, 2005
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
Speaking of...
Obviously, I'm thinking a lot more about crafting my comedic persona and in doing so, I've come to realize that I don't really need to craft one. I don't know why it's taken me so long to realize this. But, as I've slowly discovered, I don't need to be someone else onstage.
I've been performing on a far more regular basis these days, which is both good and bad. The good: it's ALWAYS a good thing for a comic to perform on an almost nightly basis. The bad: not all rooms are equal and not all shows are ... ah, helpful.
Last Saturday, I had a great time (and a great set) at the Comedy Studio. The previous Wednesday, I tanked so badly at a late night open mike, I can still taste the bitter dick I chomped. Now, granted, the circumstances were not the greatest. I was the 347th comic to go up. It was well after midnight when I finally did my 5 minutes of monkey-dancing. And a large black "comic" slumbered in the back of the room, snoring loudly for most of the show - rousing only briefly from his cacophonous sleep to lumber onto the stage, deliver his witty barbs and race-baiting rants, answer some questions from around the room in some half-hearted attempt to improvise with the audience of comics, only to lurch to an abrupt halt at the end of his time, of which he went over.
But, it was only an open mike. So why shouldn't I have rocked the place? I should have no trouble being funny for a bunch of comics, especially when the 2 sitting up front are dressed identically and look like they just walked out of a Harry Potter convention (an observation that fell on deaf ears). And yet, there I was, stumbling through my set, watching helplessly as both new and old material alike struck out worse than Mark Bellhorn on a 3-2 change-up.
Dont get the wrong idea here. I'm not examining my comedy techniques because of a bad set at an open mike. After that cluster fuck of a show, I did 2 more sets which went fine, culminating in a pretty solid taped set at the studio. The real issue is, I KNOW what I need to do. And I know how to do it. But when I get uncomfortable or nervous, my mind freezes up and I'm on autopilot. It might not always translate to the audience, but I know the difference. Moreover, I've seen some of the best comics around have off-nights. Yet, even when their stuff isn't always working, they still exude confidence, as if to say, "I'm a professional. I know what I'm doing." They don't let the audience reaction rattle them. Or, if they do, they certainly don't let it show.
That's where I need to be. That's where I want to be. And that's where - hopefully - I'm going.
It's just the nature of the beast, man. Work, work, work. They can't all be rock star nights. But man, those open mikes can be brutal. I believe the good reverend is right: I need to drink more. A LOT more.
Monday, March 07, 2005
In which I suddenly become reflective
So, I'm currently trying to find my stand-up comedy "voice" - that is, I'm trying harder to just be myself when I'm performing stand-up. Why is this difficult? Well, my original comedy roots are in sketch and improv comedy, artforms that rely on diverse characters and varying points of views. But stand-up is far more individual and intimate. And revealing. Audiences can sense fear. They can also sense trepidation and uncertainty, despite strong material. On the flipside, a strong personality and a confident attitude can sell a mediocre joke and win over the audience, despite lackluster punchlines. And with the amount of time I've spent on writing bits, I feel like I need to invest some more time focusing on performing the bits.
The writing and the performing of jokes are two completely different beasts. Many a stand-up comic will tell you that when responding to a heckler, quickly and succinctly rattling off a put-down will get a big laugh from the audience, even if it's a standard one-liner. It's the speed of the delivery and the quick-thinking of the comic that's rewarded, not necessarily the eloquence of the phrase. It's here that a comic's abilities as a performer shine. Likewise, a comic's delivery can elevate even the lamest of jokes to the heights of hilarity (I'm slipping dangerously over into New Yorker territory here, with the pithy comments). Think of Chris Rock or Lewis Black. Sure, the material's great, but it's their stage presence that really makes them stand out. Sam Kinison had some great quotes, but would they have been nearly as powerful - or as funny - had they not come from the chubby dude in a trenchcoat and cap unleashing his wit in primal screams?
Which brings me back to me and my stage persona. Lately, I've been wanting to cut loose more onstage, but once I get in front of the mike, I feel like I'm very guarded and almost nervous. I'm almost relying solely on the strength of the material, and the performance aspect is taking a backseat. This isn't always the case - in rooms where I'm comfortable, I feel much more confident in myself, and I think it shows. For me, I think the trick is being able to maintain that confidence no matter where I'm performing.
So, that's my goal. To gain more confidence and to be more comfortable just being myself onstage. Because I think I can be a pretty funny guy. And once I'm able to just let go and be myself, the material becomes fresher and easier to generate, I become more relaxed and the audience becomes more engaged.
Why is it that just being ourselves is sometimes the hardest thing to do?
Friday, March 04, 2005
Workin' for the Weekend
As I have already mentioned, I'll be up in the Boston area this weekend. If you're in that neck of the woods, come on up to the 3rd floor of the Hong Kong on 1236 Mass. Ave in Cambridge and see me do some stand-up at the Comedy Studio at 8 pm.
Otherwise, you'll just have to wait until Monday to enjoy more of my sparkling wit and wisdom.
Until then, I give you Dr. Doom being attacked by squirrels.
LIVE NUDE GIRLS!*
First:
Spider-Man's greatest bible stories!
Second: I'll be up in Boston this weekend, performing at the always spectacular Comedy Studio on Saturday Night, March 5th. Show starts at 8pm. Pop on up to the 3rd floor of the Kong and buy me a Sam Adams, if'n you like. I won't stop ya. In fact, I might like it. I like Maker's Mark even more. Curse you, McIntire!
Anyway. Comedy Studio. 1236 Mass. Ave. Saturday. March 5th. 8pm.
*Not really. There will be no live nude girls. It was just another attempt to try to increase traffic. And mentioning Paris Hilton was getting old.
Thursday, March 03, 2005
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
Another good reason to own a Time Machine...
Roadhouse: The Play.
I wish I had known about this before it closed. Seriously. I would have paid good money to see Bruce LeeRoy playing Patrick Swayze in this loving tribute to the 1989 classic. Seriously. You're telling me you wouldn't wanna see this:
Of course you wanna see that. You'd shriek with delight upon hearing Dalton utter the immortal words: "It'll get worse before it gets better." You'd thrill to the tawdry spectacle of rowdy sex and violence. And you'd shed genuine tears over Wade's heartbreaking death. This was probably amazing. And I'll never get to see it live.
And I live here, dammit! I could have seen this if I knew about it BEFORE it closed. How could I have been so out of the loop?!
From the New York Times:
A ridiculous movie is reincarnated as a ridiculous stage show at 27 Barrow Street in Greenwich Village, where the cast of "Road House" will be bashing bottles, hurling chairs, stabbing heroes and villains, ripping out throats, indulging in murder and arson and baring backsides and breasts...
And this glowing review from in-nyc:
Road House, the play, is a hoot of a show out-camping the campy original and filled with hysterically funny fight scenes. The actors literally give their all, flying through the air in barroom brawl after brawl. ... Timothy Haskell has every reason to be very proud of his show - it rocks!
I bet it was the most awesomest thing ever. That's right. Most. Awesomest. Thing. Ever.
And I went and saw the Gates, instead. Dammit.
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