Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Been a while

Oh. Hello. I didn't see you there.

So much I'd love to rant and rave about, but funny thing about graduate's kind of time consuming.

As things slow down, I'll have more time to ramble. Until then, here are more jokes for the packet. Punchlines in bold. Special bonus visual aide!

Current U.N. Ambassador John Bolton has announced he will step down after his temporary appointment ends this year. Bolton’s supporters fear this now leaves the U.N. without proper porn ‘stache representation.

At a Phoenix airport, security guards are testing a controversial new x-ray device that reveals what people look like underneath all of their clothes. Officials are calling the device “The Britney.”

In a recent interview, Mel Gibson defended Michael Richards’ racial tirade by blaming it all on stress. Stress caused by the Jews.

Faced with public discontent, Wal-Mart has developed a wide-ranging new program intended to show that it appreciates its 1.3 million workers in the United States. As part of the new program, employees who work more than 40 hours a week will be allowed to live.

In Kansas, a gun-toting thief who tried to steal a pair of stereo speakers in broad daylight accidentally shot off one of his testicles. Armed robbery in broad daylight? That crook has ball.