Tuesday, November 28, 2006

drowning in a sea of jokes here!

I know there's lots of shit going on in the world...

...and I have to keep writing jokes about it.

I know it's lame, but I'm busy. Okay? Stop looking at me like that!

Here's a handful of minty fresh jokes from me:

  • Authorities closed down the Lincoln Memorial this morning after discovering a suspicious liquid. An embarrassed Lincoln statue had no comment.
  • Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock have filed for divorce. No word yet on who gets to keep the Hepatitis-C.
  • Britney Spears spent Thanksgiving weekend club-hopping with Paris Hilton and caused a tabloid frenzy when she flashed the paparazzi her private parts several times. This marks the first friendship where Paris Hilton is known as “the classy one.”
  • According to reports, Elton John abruptly left the stage during a weekend concert in Brisbane to throw up in the bathroom. Officials believe the nausea was caused when Elton John found out what his hair is really made of.

And here's one from the "What the frak is wrong with Colorado?!" file:

  • A Colorado homeowners association has told one of its residents to take down a Christmas wreath shaped as a peace sign, because it's “divisive.” Association members feel that Christmas is hardly the time to make a volatile statement like "Peace on Earth."