T.S. Dandersnatch, Real Estate Broker At Large - Episode the Fourth

More silliness.

Veterans' Day 2010

This morning - 11 NOV 2010 - I had the honor of speaking at the Chelmsford Veterans' Park for their annual Veterans' Day ceremony. Below is the prepared draft of my remarks. I deviated a little from my notes, so the actual speech was slightly different...but I think you can get the drift.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

SFC Benari Poulten

OEF/OIF Veteran

11 NOV 2010

VETERANS' DAY REMARKS

Exactly one year ago today, I stepped off a C-17 in Ali-Asaleem in Kuwait with Baghdad, Iraq in my rear view and Fort Dix, NJ in my sights. For me, for my unit, for many of the men and women with whom I served, we were done.

Our deployment was over. For others we had just left, their deployment was ongoing. For others still, it was just beginning…so it goes in times of war.

So this Veterans’ Day is especially profound for me. In 2003, I spoke here as a brand new young Vet on behalf of my father who was deployed overseas. Last year, my father spoke here - as a slightly older Vet - on my behalf. And this year, I am grateful that we are BOTH here - safe and whole - as I speak on behalf of all those who cannot be here.

As Veterans, we know that when our country calls, our answer is simple: “Here I am.”

Veterans know the answer to the question: “What can YOU do for your country?”

Veterans know the cost of freedom.

And Veterans know there are many who sacrificed ALL so that so many of us could have so much…and who will never have the opportunity to hear the thanks of a grateful nation. But they are not forgotten. YOU have not forgotten. And as long as we all continue to gather here and remember, they will NEVER be forgotten.

I’m often asked, “Why did you sign up? Why did you join? What’s the reward?” It’s certainly not the money. There are easier ways to make a living. It’s not for the travel – although Iraq is very nice if you love the beach and hate the water. For me…well, I’ve been attending Veterans’ Day events here at the Chelmsford Veterans’ Park for as long as there has been a park, long before I was even old enough to wear the uniform. These Veterans were always like family.

As my father said when he speaks of “from generation to generation,” I am a third generation Veteran: my mother’s father, an Army Vet of WWII; my father’s father, a WWII Navy Vet; and of course, my father. I am personally part of a remarkable lineage, a link in an unbroken chain that extends back to this country’s roots – of men and women who have always lined up to put it all on the line. And I am humbled by their deeds and their dedication.

I think of my father working in a Combat Support Hospital in Kuwait at the beginning of OIF, where every single casualty and wounded service member passed through their dusty tents. And how he would sound TAPS as bodies in flag-draped coffins were loaded onto the plane for their final trip home – knowing that he had been in the Army longer than some of those bodies had been alive.

I think of my grandfather serving on the destroyer O’Brien – a ship which was kamikaze’d and burned to the water line but STILL made its way back to port under its OWN POWER … thanks entirely to the will and resolve of those men who just wouldn’t quit. How he sat waiting on a ship in the Pacific, part of a planned invasion force, as the bombs which would end the war were dropped over Japan – only to be turned around and sent home…always believing that the greatest force of destruction ever unleashed upon the world had saved his life.

This is what it means to be a Veteran. Veterans hear the clarion call – not just today, but EVERY day. Veterans do not ask, “How much SHOULD I give,” but instead, “How much CAN I give? What more CAN I do? What more NEEDS to be done? I will do it.”

Veterans know that when things are bleakest, when the night seems darkest, we must somehow reach down deep and find that extra strength, that added resolve to keep going. And we find that strength through you – all of you here today. You – the families and friends, the loved ones, the ones back home who support and care for us all. YOU are the lights that shine brightly to help guide us through the darkness so that we may find our way home.

And for those who do not make it home, we who are fortunate -WE carry their legacies home with us. We carry on their fight. And we strive to always live up to the ideals and the high standards they have set for us. We only hope that we can honor their memories as they have honored us.

I know what MY reward is. My reward is that I get to proudly wear this uniform. I get to say that I am an American Soldier. I am an American service member. I am a Veteran of the United States of America. And I am humbled and honored to be counted among their ranks.

To all those here, to all those who have served and to all those who continue to serve, I thank you and I salute you.

T.S. Dandersnatch, Real Estate Broker At Large - Episode the Third

Things continue getting creepier for our hapless Real Estate Broker, as Hallowe'en draws ever nearer.



Previous episodes of T.S. Dandersnatch, Real Estate Broker At Large can be found HERE and HERE.

NYC tonight!

NYC FOLKS!

Luca Lounge! Tonight! Comedy!
Tuesday, October 26th · 8:00pm - 9:30pm
222 Avenue B between 13th and 14th
New York, NY

T.S. Dandersnatch, Real Estate Broker At Large - Episode the Second

I am officially addicted to making little movies on xtranormal.com. Here's the second in the continuing adventures of T.S. Dandersnatch, hapless Real Estate Broker.



Fellow geeks (lookin' at you Kevin, Mikester) might get an added kick out of this one...

Family Hour Show tonight!

HIYA, CITIZENS!

Tonight, Sara Benincasa's FAMILY HOUR returns to NYC! And I'll be telling some sort of story involving my nephews, Star Wars, super heroes, and my parents.

DETAILS:

Tuesday, October 19 · 8:00pm - 9:30pm
Luca Lounge
222 Avenue B between 13th and 14th
New York, NY
The critically-acclaimed fan favorite is BACK in a new location!
FREE admission
FREE homebaked cookies

Featuring true family stories from...

Baratunde Thurston (web editor at The Onion; HarperCollins author)
Sean Donnelly (Lil' Seany Boy Show)
Sean L. McCarthy (The Comic's Comic)
Benari Poulten (Shoot the Messenger)
Chelsea White (Gotham Comedy Club)
Jena Friedman (Entertaining the Bartender)

T.S. Dandersnatch, Real Estate Broker At Large - Episode the First

Look! I made this thing!



And you can make your own thing, too! Bravo xtranormal.com for creating a fantastically simple and fun tool.

Welcome to this week's obsession.

USA! USA!

Here's lookin' at you, America!

Happy Canada Day!

Celebrate Canada Day by enjoying the videos from the previous post!

Rush Justice

Sometimes, we make funny videos.




Added bonus video!

oh, hello again

I know we haven't spoken much since I've returned from Iraq, but I still think of you often.

We'll be in touch.

The Sophisticates! Tonight!

Illustration by Norn Cutson

NOT A HOAX!

NOT A DREAM!

TONIGHT!
Thursday, April 1st at 8PM!
The Peoples Improv Theater
154 W. 29th Street 2nd FL
New York, NY

Kevin Janus and Benari Poulten are... The Sophisticates! Join them on the first Thursday of every month for their brand new comedy show featuring original live and video sketches. Tuxedos. Red Roses. Lovely Ladies. It's Comedy... with a touch of class.


If you're in the NYC area and looking for something awesome to do for April Fool's Day...come on down!

Exclamation points!!!!


"I love these guys! Hilarious--best live comedy I've seen in ages!"
- Lizz Winstead, Co-Creator of The Daily Show.

"I wet my pants. Happy now? You f*^kers owe me new pants."
- Jo Miller, Writer, The Daily Show.

"Reviving the comedy spirit of Martin & Lewis, the Sophisticates are just as smart, silly and carefree, but a little more Canadian and a touch more bald."
- Jeff Kreisler, IFC sketch critic; author of Get Rich Cheating.

Buy Tix

oh, hello

TONIGHT!

The Sophisticates at the PIT, MARCH 4th at 8pm.
154 W. 29th St. NYC

Kevin Janus and Benari Poulten are... The Sophisticates! Join them on the first Thursday of every month for an all new comedy show featuring original live and video sketches, plus music and special guest stars!
Comedy... with a touch of class.
$10 at the door.
Tix are a little cheaper if you order online...
brownpapertickets.com

Revolution Number

Number 9. Number 9. Number 9.

Geekend

I like that Google looked like this today.

As seen on facebook

"Goo goo ga joob."

One of my buddies posted video of this horrifying Walrus mask on on his facebook page, to which I replied:

"From the month-long Bothan raves to the seemingly endless lines of "Correlian Marching Powder" he would snort, Walrus Man thought the decadence of 1977 would last forever. He was wrong. Tragically wrong. His collaborater and best friend, Snaggletooth, would never even live to see how bad things would get by the 80's..."

-from Inside the Cantina: a tale of scum and villainy

To which my buddy replied:

He buried most of his friends in the 80's, Benari. But was the Times reporting THAT?! WHERE was their evolved sensibility then?!

My reply:

There were numerous plays written about it throughout the 80's and well into the 90's, including "Tauntauns," "...And the Cantina Band Played On," "Love! Ewoks! Compassion!" And of course, the sprawling epic "Angels in Alderaan" by noted bounty hunter-turned-playwright Dengar.

Let Freedom Ring

We kind of had fireworks last night...what with the rocket/mortar attacks. Yay, Independence!

To Independence, Freedom, Democracy, Mom, Apple Pie, Truth, Justice, and the American Way!

July. A month for independence.

Happy Day AFTER "Victory over America" Day!

Yep. They love us.

Funny how the new Iraqi government is now taking pot shots at us for essentially creating the circumstances which allowed for them to take power in the first place.

Also, the Iraqis celebrate events by indiscriminately shooting weapons into the air.

Hm. We've basically just turned Iraq into Texas.


Please note: My views and opinions do not in ANY WAY, shape, or form represent those of the Army, the US, it Government, its citizens, its subsidiaries, its share holders, its global assets, or any combination thereof.

Welcome Back Rogers

No one could have predicted that Steve Rogers would once again triumphantly return from the dead!

But yes, Steve Rogers will once again be shield-slinging in the familiar Red, White, & Blue. And when he once again throws his mighty shield, all those who chose to oppose his shield must yield.

Welcome back, Cap.

How do you get to Colbert's writers' room? Just get deployed to Iraq!

Here's a quick round-up of what I've been up to this week:


The Lowell Sun has a nice mention of me in the Sunday Column:

STAND-UP COMIC and Army Sgt. 1st Class Benari Poulten rubbed elbows recently in Baghdad with political satirist and Comedy Central star Stephen Colbert.

"He was in Iraq for a few days for a USO tour, and I managed to end up in his makeshift writers room during part of the visit," Poulten e-mailed The Sun from Iraq. "Just think, I had been in NYC for 5 years, and I had to go all the way to Baghdad to end up in Colbert's writers room."

Colbert's visit has been widely reported, because he declared the war in Iraq officially over and had his head shaved, Army-style, after a videotaped order from President Barack Obama.

Poulten, who grew up in Chelmsford, is part of a multinational force in Baghdad specializing in civil and public affairs as a liaison to the Iraqi media.

Before being deployed in January, Benari was in New York, where he most recently worked in a comedy club show with Liz Winstead, a co-creator of The Daily Show, where Colbert got his start.

Benari has also rubbed elbows with Lowellian Mehmed Ali, an arts/culture liaison with the Iraqi government.

"They're on different sides of Baghdad, but have seen each other when Benari goes to the American Embassy," said Sam Poulten, Benari's father.


When he returns, "hopefully by Christmas," Benari will likely return to New York to resume his comedy writing and stand-up career.

He hopes his backstage brush with Colbert, who taped four episodes of his show there, opens doors.

"He's a terrific guy and the shows were hilarious -- and he was nice enough to take a pic backstage," Benari e-mailed.

Don't know how many doors it'll open up, but it was pretty cool. Colbert and his entire staff were fantastic and could not have been nicer to me. And since one of Colbert's goals was to bring more attention to the troops still here in Iraq, I'd say "Mission ccomplished." There's nothing politically volatile about that phrase, right?

My old boss and good pal Pat Cook is also mentioned in Column for his dry wit and humor. And what's this? Why, yes, he also had a thing or two to say about my brush with fame.

And of course, NYC buddy and comedy aficionado Sean McCarthy had a nice mention of me over on his blog, The Comic's Comic, one of the best resources of comedy insight on the world wide web.

I'll follow up soon with some more behind the scenes tales from the front lines of Baghdad.

Excelsior!