minnie

Hiya, folks.

Shoot the Messenger heads out West this week for three shows:

Sep 2, 2008 - Sep 4, 2008
@ 7:00pm each night

The Parkway Theater
4814 Chicago Avenue S
Minneapolis, MN

READ MORE HERE.

Also, Lizz Winstead and I will be broadcasting live on Lowell's WCAP 980 AM every day during the convention. 9:30am and 4:30pm (EST). Tune in or listen live online at 980wcap.com/

That is all. For now.

primary thoughts

Yeah. I'd say I'm pretty proud to be a Democrat.

Especially tonight.


*But, uh, whoever put together the music programming for the convention...

Yeah. Not so much.

Hey Jews, don't make it bad...

So. This story:

Good for the Jews? Or bad for the Jews?

Paul McCartney gig revives Israeli Beatles tale

08/27/2008 1:00 PM, AP

An upcoming concert by Paul McCartney has revived memories of the 1960s, when an Israeli official supposedly called off a Beatles concert for fear it would corrupt the nation's youth.

The episode is often fondly quoted as a relic of a long-lost Israel where the public's innocence needed protecting.

Trouble is, the story might not be true: With Israelis in a tizzy about McCartney's arrival, the official's son is taking the opportunity to try to clear his father's name, calling the tale a "Zionist urban legend."

So pervasive is the story of the concert's cancellation 43 years ago that this year Israel's ambassador in London wrote a letter expressing regret over the matter to surviving members of the band. He told them the country would like to make it up to them: come play during this year's celebrations marking Israel's 60th anniversary.

"Israel missed a chance to learn from the most influential musicians of the decade, and the Beatles missed an opportunity to reach out to one of the most passionate audiences in the world," Ambassador Ron Prosor wrote.

On Wednesday, McCartney confirmed the Sept. 25 concert in Tel Aviv, which had been rumored for days.

In a news release, McCartney acknowledged the brouhaha, saying he is finally coming "43 years after being banned by the Israeli government." He promised to give Israelis "the night they have been waiting decades for."

Even before McCartney announced the show, tickets went on sale at prices ranging from $140 to $430.

The Israeli official blamed for canceling the 1965 concert was Yaakov Sarid, a stern-faced man in horn-rimmed glasses who was the Education Ministry's director.

He is remembered today — to the extent that he is remembered at all — mainly for his alleged role in denying Israeli youth their chance to faint and scream at the Fab Four. Also implicated is David Ben-Gurion, Israel's founding father and prime minister at the time.

Sarid, who died in 1976, was the father of Yossi Sarid, for years an outspoken member of Israel's parliament and currently a newspaper columnist.

The younger Sarid, now 67, claims his father had nothing to do with the decision. He wrote a column — only partially tongue in cheek — for the daily Haaretz this week to call the story "a Zionist urban legend." He has tried to make the point in the past, he said, but the story has become too firmly ensconced to budge.

The real story, Sarid said, involved a more mundane feud between two Israeli concert promoters.

The competition was so bitter that when one of them, Yaakov Uri, was about to bring the Beatles to the Jewish state, the other, Giora Godik, used his official connections to torpedo the government approval his rival needed to get the foreign currency to pay for the gig. Sarid said his father was not involved.

This version of events is supported by Israel's pre-eminent pop music critic and historian, Yoav Kutner, who recounted the details in Haaretz on Monday. "It never happened that way," Kutner said of the oft-told story.

Sarid said his father had never heard of the Beatles — his artistic tastes leaned more toward European Jewish liturgical music — and that Ben-Gurion probably hadn't either.

The false version of events only emerged after his father's death, or "after my father was unable to listen to the Beatles," in Sarid's words.

Sarid said the story was first written in a journalist's anthology about Israeli history and gained traction because of Sarid's own political career. Sarid the son was one of the most liberal members of parliament and an outspoken critic of government censorship, which gave the story the necessary ironic punch.

The story has lived on because — accurate or not — it accurately reflected the times. The 1960s was the heyday of Israel's socialist ideology, which sanctified sacrifice and scorned materialism and Western frivolities. Officially, earnest Hebrew paeans to the beauty of the Land of Israel and to the military were in. "Love Me Do" was out.

Though Sarid wants the record set straight and his father's name cleared, he also finds the story amusing and realizes it has taken on a life of its own.

"It's a nice story, in this case much nicer than the truth," he said.

"I DON'T HAVE 25 CENTS!"

I think we've all had one of these mornings...

STM Newsbreak

From JULY 28th.

Start at the 2:00 mark. The guy doing the McCain "voice in the head" sounds awfully familiar....

Things that made ME happy in DC last week...

• Tagging along with some friends for the DC ComedyFest and ending up as part of the festival, hosting what turned out to be two fantastic shows.

• Getting to host TWO sold-out shows for the hilarious Lizz Winstead, featuring the very funny and talented Sean Crespo. Don't mean to brag, but she co-created the Daily Show. Okay. Maybe I meant to brag a little.

• The Arlington Drafthouse is AWESOME. If you are in the Arlington, VA/DC area: GO THERE.
  

• Partying and performing with many awesome comics. And even the not-so-awesome ones. You know who you are.
  

• Drinking wine with some FOLKS WHO HELP RUN THE MEDIA (note: surprisingly, NOT the Jews...)

• Getting into a political argument with Greta Van Susteren's husband. Seriously.

• Realizing that the while our GPS almost killed us that one time ("Turn right here...down this one way road...into oncoming traffic..."), we would have been absolutely lost without it.
  

• Side bar: when you have the GPS set to British, it calls Dr (Drive) "Doctor" and St (Street) "Saint." Also, DC has letter streets (A, B, C, D...etc.). So, if it were E, N, S, or W, the GPS would refer to it as "East" or "North" or "South" or West." So, we would get directions like: "Turn right on Vermont Doctor Northwest, then turn left on East Saint." That's a hell of a glitch. Of course, Dr. East Saint Northwest would make an awesome Bond villain, yes? "Doctor Northwest, I presume. What have you done with the girl, South Saint Southwest?"
  

• The FDR Memorial. Gorgeous. Inspiring. Dare I say...monumental? I dare.

• Meeting Scipio in person, finding out that he really DOES know what's best for DC Comics, AND getting to see Big Monkey Comics in real FULL COLOR life! Next time...we will definitely make dinner plans ahead of time. If you're in DC and you find yourself walking up 14th, near S St., and you see a sign that reads BIG MONKEY COMICS, go in and say hi! And buy Showcase trades! Online, even! Give them money.
  

in Washington D.C. tonight?

Because that's where I will be. I'm doing a last-minute-scheduled set as part of the DC Comedy Festival, hence the short notice.

I'll be doing a 10 minute guest set on the Lizz Winstead Show.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 8, 2008, 7:30PM, Arlington Cinema & Drafthouse, $22

Heckled by my mom

ME

...And Lizz is doing a weekend at Comix. She asked me to feature.

MOM

That's great! So, you're going to write some new material.

ME

...

"Do It For Peace"

I wish I had been alive in 1969 AND thought to do this...

...and then put this beautiful little film together. Amazing how simple and consistent Lennon's message was / is / continues to be.

Whatever you do, do it for peace.




About the film:

In 1969, a 14-year-old Beatle fanatic named Jerry Levitan, armed with a reel-to-reel tape deck, snuck into John Lennon's hotel room in Toronto and convinced John to do an interview about peace. 38 years later, Jerry has produced a film about it. Using the original interview recording as the soundtrack, director Josh Raskin has woven a visual narrative which tenderly romances Lennon's every word in a cascading flood of multipronged animation. Raskin marries the terrifyingly genius pen work of James Braithwaite with masterful digital illustration by Alex Kurina, resulting in a spell-binding vessel for Lennon's boundless wit, and timeless message.

One small note. That intrepid kid with the reel-to-reel didn't meet the Walrus.

We all know: "...the Walrus was Paul..."

The American Dream (in comic book form)

From Captain America #250 by Roger Stern, John Byrne, & Joe Rubinstein. Marvel, 1980.

The American Dream (in Barack Obama form)

"It is up to us, then, to teach them. It is up to us to teach them that even though we have faced great challenges and made our share of mistakes, we have always been able to come together and make this nation stronger, and more prosperous, and more united, and more just. It is up to us to teach them that America has been a force for good in the world, and that other nations and other people have looked to us as the last, best hope of Earth. It is up to us to teach them that it is good to give back to one's community; that it is honorable to serve in the military; that it is vital to participate in our democracy and make our voices heard.

And it is up to us to teach our children a lesson that those of us in politics too often forget: that patriotism involves not only defending this country against external threat, but also working constantly to make America a better place for future generations.

In the end, it may be this quality that best describes patriotism in my mind – not just a love of America in the abstract, but a very particular love for, and faith in, the American people.

That is why our heart swells with pride at the sight of our flag; why we shed a tear as the lonely notes of Taps sound. For we know that the greatness of this country – its victories in war, its enormous wealth, its scientific and cultural achievements – all result from the energy and imagination of the American people; their toil, drive, struggle, restlessness, humor and quiet heroism.

That is the liberty we defend – the liberty of each of us to pursue our own dreams. That is the equality we seek – not an equality of results, but the chance of every single one of us to make it if we try. That is the community we strive to build – one in which we trust in this sometimes messy democracy of ours, one in which we continue to insist that there is nothing we cannot do when we put our mind to it, one in which we see ourselves as part of a larger story, our own fates wrapped up in the fates of those who share allegiance to America's happy and singular creed.

Thank you, God Bless you, and may God Bless the United States of America."

-Barack Obama, Independence, MO, June 30th, 2008

Read the full speech here.

dumb people have the vote, too

Newsweek says that this election will be decided by this year's "IT" demographic: LOW INFO VOTERS.

Back in the day, we just called them STUPID PEOPLE.

good to be bad

It's official. Being a dick gets you laid.

NICE guys knew it, now two studies have confirmed it: bad boys get the most girls. The finding may help explain why a nasty suite of antisocial personality traits known as the "dark triad" persists in the human population, despite their potentially grave cultural costs.

The traits are the self-obsession of narcissism; the impulsive, thrill-seeking and callous behaviour of psychopaths; and the deceitful and exploitative nature of Machiavellianism.

Thanks, Science. Even worse, there's nothing we can do about it, since procreating is in their very nature.

But being just slightly evil could have an upside: a prolific sex life, says Peter Jonason at New Mexico State University in Las Cruces. "We have some evidence that the three traits are really the same thing and may represent a successful evolutionary strategy."

In short: Assholes are more likely to breed, thus ensuring the survival of their species.

So if you feel like you're surrounded by assholes, you are.
It's only natural.

Badges? Shaq don't need no steenkin' badges...!

Shaquille O’Neal will lose his special deputy’s badge in Maricopa County because of language he used in a rap video that mocks former teammate Kobe Bryant.

Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio said the Phoenix Suns center’s use of a racially derogatory word and other foul language left him no choice. Arpaio made Shaq a special deputy in 2006 and promoted him to colonel of his largely ceremonial posse later that year.

“I want his two badges back,” Arpaio told The Associated Press on Tuesday. “Because if any one of my deputies did something like this, they’re fired. I don’t condone this type of racial conduct.”

INT. POLICE CHIEF'S OFFICE - EVENING

SHAQ
(throwing badge on the desk)

You want my badge? Take it!

CHIEF

Shaq, you're reckless, irresponsible, and a danger to everyone around you...but you're the best damn special deputy and ceremonial posse colonel I've got.

So long, Class Clown

There are only seven words that could possibly express my feelings about the death of George Carlin.

Naturally.



And some thoughts on death by the man himself.

STM Newsbreak - from last week

Here are some jokes that I wrote and/or helped write from last week's show.

I'm particularly proud of the last bit, based on this story:

Obama and Lieberman greeted each on the Senate floor in the Well as they were voting on the budget resolution.

They shook hands. But Obama didn’t let go, leading Lieberman - cordially - by the hand across the room into a corner on the Democratic side, where Democratic sources tell ABC News he delivered some tough words for the junior senator from Connecticut, who had just minutes before hammered Obama's speech before the pro-Israel group AIPAC in a conference call arranged by the McCain campaign...

The two spoke intensely for approximately five minutes, with no one able to hear their conversation. Reporters watched as Obama leaned closely in to Lieberman, whose back was literally up against the wall.

Enjoy.

Update from an Undisclosed Location

I meant to post this week, but it's that time of the year for me. I'm on Army time - what used to be called Annual Training, or AT. I'm told it is now called ECT - Extended Combat Training.

I used to drill one weekend a month. Now I attend Battle Assembly.

Just two of the many little changes to the Army Reserve that six years of war brings.

Stay tuned as I wax poetic a little more on what it is I actually do in the Army.

Everybody blogs

Well, whaddya know?

My lovely and talented sister, Geordarna, works for an adorable little kitchenware shop called bluecashew.

And thanks to her hard work, you can check out their brand - spankin' - new website by clicking on the above link.

Even better, she's blogging for 'em, too. So go poke around the website and check out the blog, The Dose, at

http://www.bluecashewkitchen.blogspot.com


Oh, yeah - if you check out their products, you might just be reading descriptions written by a certain NY-based comic who also happens to (occasionally) post on this very blog...!

R2tWH - 6.9.08

Real Life Conversations That Will One Day Make It Into My Screenplay

HER

Are you kidding? My ass is like the Mohammad Ali of asses!

(pause)

I don't know what that means.

ME

Uh...it floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee?

villa.