So long, Class Clown

There are only seven words that could possibly express my feelings about the death of George Carlin.

Naturally.



And some thoughts on death by the man himself.

STM Newsbreak - from last week

Here are some jokes that I wrote and/or helped write from last week's show.

I'm particularly proud of the last bit, based on this story:

Obama and Lieberman greeted each on the Senate floor in the Well as they were voting on the budget resolution.

They shook hands. But Obama didn’t let go, leading Lieberman - cordially - by the hand across the room into a corner on the Democratic side, where Democratic sources tell ABC News he delivered some tough words for the junior senator from Connecticut, who had just minutes before hammered Obama's speech before the pro-Israel group AIPAC in a conference call arranged by the McCain campaign...

The two spoke intensely for approximately five minutes, with no one able to hear their conversation. Reporters watched as Obama leaned closely in to Lieberman, whose back was literally up against the wall.

Enjoy.

Update from an Undisclosed Location

I meant to post this week, but it's that time of the year for me. I'm on Army time - what used to be called Annual Training, or AT. I'm told it is now called ECT - Extended Combat Training.

I used to drill one weekend a month. Now I attend Battle Assembly.

Just two of the many little changes to the Army Reserve that six years of war brings.

Stay tuned as I wax poetic a little more on what it is I actually do in the Army.

Everybody blogs

Well, whaddya know?

My lovely and talented sister, Geordarna, works for an adorable little kitchenware shop called bluecashew.

And thanks to her hard work, you can check out their brand - spankin' - new website by clicking on the above link.

Even better, she's blogging for 'em, too. So go poke around the website and check out the blog, The Dose, at

http://www.bluecashewkitchen.blogspot.com


Oh, yeah - if you check out their products, you might just be reading descriptions written by a certain NY-based comic who also happens to (occasionally) post on this very blog...!

R2tWH - 6.9.08

Real Life Conversations That Will One Day Make It Into My Screenplay

HER

Are you kidding? My ass is like the Mohammad Ali of asses!

(pause)

I don't know what that means.

ME

Uh...it floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee?

villa.

Harvey Korman. 1927-2008

So long, Harvey.

Harvey Korman, an Emmy-winning comedic actor best known for playing the self-described "luminous second banana" for a decade on television's "The Carol Burnett Show" and for starring in such Mel Brooks films as "Blazing Saddles," has died. He was 81.

I am positive that this is NOT how you would like to be remembered:



Or this:





I hope Tim Conway does the eulogy. If only to see Harvey Korman crack up at his own funeral.

oh, yeah. I have a blog.

Yeah. SO. Let's just pretend I keep up with this thing.

I cannot wait for this to happen:

A video that purportedly shows a living, breathing space alien will be shown to the news media Friday in Denver.

Jeff Peckman, who is pushing a ballot initiative to create an Extraterrestrial Affairs Commission in Denver to prepare the city for close encounters of the alien kind, said the video is authentic and convinced him that aliens exist.

Surely this is emphatic proof that extraterrestrial life exists and it couldn't possibly be a desperate stunt to generate publicity for some kind of documentary.

Peckman said the general public will have to wait to see it because it's being included in a documentary by Stan Romanek.

"No one will be allowed to film the segment with the extraterrestrial because there is an agreement in place limiting that kind of exposure during negotiations for the documentary," he said.

Oh. Still...I am skeptical.

But people won't have to wait too long to see it for themselves.

"There is an open, public meeting in about a month in Colorado Springs," Peckman said. "We'll hope to do one in Denver at some point, and then in a few months, there will be the documentary that anybody can have, and it'll have the footage."

An instructor at the Colorado Film School in Denver scrutinized the video "very carefully" and determined it was authentic, Peckman said.

Some guy in Colorado looked at it and said it was real? That's good enough for me!

So. What's the footage show?

"It shows an extraterrestrial's head popping up outside of a window at night, looking in the window, that's visible through an infrared camera," he said. The alien is about 4 feet tall and can be seen blinking, Peckman said earlier this month.

R2tWH - 5.19.08!

more STM Newsbreaks - 5.12.08

R2tWH - 5.12.08!

not quite appropriate, considering ...

This is one of my favorite sketches we worked on. Yes, it's creepy, but yes, it is rooted in horrifying reality!!

STM Newsbreak

I wrote or helped write all of these...

...and of course, be on the look out for a handsome fella somewhere in the middle of this important News Break.

SIRIUS-ly (again)

I'll be waxing philosophical and political tonight at 5pm once again on Sirius Satellite Radio, Channel 110.

I continue to be big time.

5PM
"The Blog Bunker"
INDIE TALK 110
Sirius Satellite Radio

Tune in, turn on...blah, blah, blah.

R2tWH - 5.5.08!

He's a cool exec with a heart of steel

So that movie that came out today? Let me review it briefly.

IRON MAN:

Hells Yeah.

Bravo, to all involved.

Oh, and a nice little geek touch, using the 60s Iron Man cartoon theme song as a cellphone ringtone.

Yes. I noticed.

STM Newsbreak

Who's that handsome fella who shows up in the middle of the Newsbreak?



And yes, the guy wearing the helmet in the background is part of the joke. That's Barry, who is the other guy on Race to the White House with me.

R2tWH - 4.28.08!

It takes Diff'rent Strokes to rule the world...

Dear People Who Run the World,

Please make this stop.

Seriously. Not cool, guys. Not cool.

Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter.

Sincerely,

A Poor Person

Oil hit a new record near $120 a barrel on Monday, boosted by a string of bullish factors that included big disruptions to Nigeria's output and a UK refinery strike, highlighting anxieties over threats to supply.

Prices retreated from early peaks as the dollar gained versus the euro, reflecting some expectations that the U.S. Federal Reserve may not cut interest rates this week.

U.S. light crude for June delivery was up 37 cents at $118.89 a barrel by 11:34 a.m. EDT, after a record high of $119.93. Prices are up almost 25 percent since the start of the year.

London Brent crude was up 43 cents at $116.77.

"Continued attacks in Nigeria and refinery closures in Scotland ... may see the U.S. target $121-122 a barrel this week, with longer-term charts all pointing to $130 or higher," said Ben Coleman, senior commodities trader at TradIndex.

Crude prices have surged more than fivefold since 2002 as global supplies struggle to keep pace with rising demand in emerging economies, such as China.

On a more serious note, Gary Coleman is getting divorced.

Thank God it will all be televised on Divorce Court.

Poor fella. Nothing good in this life lasts.

"I am also a cop"

Sean Crespo made a snarky video about the (presumably) awful television show, MOONLIGHT. Watch closely, and you'll see me in the middle of the video, somewhere. About 2 minutes in.
I'm a cop.


WATCH NO PRIOR KNOWLEDGE.