The teacher provides the premise lines, we provide the punchlines.
Obviously, the big news was the election. And of course, Britney and Fed-Ex.
My punchlines in bold.
After last week's election, President Bush told Republicans that the next two weeks are going to be busy ones. “"We got a lot of papers to shred.”"
The Democrats don'’t take over the House and the Senate until January, so Republicans in the lame duck congress have said they have several weeks to try to get some things done. And by "things," they mean pages.
Britney Spears and Kevin Federline are getting divorced, after their second baby was born only 8 weeks ago. Their third baby is expected to be conceived in a few weeks.
This week, Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert said that Israel will not accept a nuclear Iran. Israel will, however, accept a peaceful Iran, a cooperative Iran, or the crater formerly known as Iran.
Political experts say that many Republicans are playing the blame game this week to explain their huge election loss. Number one on that list: the Gays.
Political experts say that now that Democrats control Congress President Bush is likely to use his veto pen a lot more. Normally, President Bush uses Mortimer, the Picture Pages Pen.
In a recent press conference, President Bush said he thought the Republicans were going to win so he shouldn't try "punditry." He also said America would have an easy victory in Iraq, so maybe he shouldn't try "Presidentry," either.
This weekend, the gay community was shocked to discover that Carol Channing is devoutly religious and believes that the Bible is very clear about homosexuality being a sin. The straight community was shocked to discover that Carol Channing was still alive.
SPECIAL BONUS - The alternate ending to that last joke:
This weekend, the gay community was shocked to discover that Carol Channing is devoutly religious and believes that the Bible is very clear about homosexuality being a sin. They were even more shocked to discover that Carol Channing has a vagina.
I know. Too soon.
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