Haven't done one of these in a while.
Backstory: I'm taking a Late Night Comedy Writing class for my MFA program at Tisch. Blah blah meef braggity brag.
Last night's assignment, write a Top Ten list.
The subject: Top Ten Signs You Know You Lost the Election. Here are mine. Again, I'm not proud.
CUT TO:
Paul Shaffer, banging on the keyboard.
PAUL (singing): Top Ten! Top Ten! Top Ten Signs You Know You Lost the Election!
TOP TEN SIGNS YOU KNOW YOU LOST THE ELECTION:
10. The only person who RSVP’d to your victory party was Donald Rumsfeld
9. Not even your hot teenage page voted for you
8. John Kerry called, asked for his campaign strategy back
7. Black people’s votes were actually counted this time
6. Kevin Federline refused to make a sex tape with you
5. You get a condolence call from Mark Foley
4. Told supporters you thought those Katrina victims “got off easy”
3. Found out about it when you got a text message from Britney Spears
2. Got an invitation to go hunting with Dick Cheney
1. You were just asked to be the next Viagra spokesman
PAUL (singing): Top ten! Top ten! Top ten signs you know you lost the eleeeeeeeeec-tion!
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