your stupid comments will end up on my blog

I'm buying my coffee this morning and I very clearly order a medium coffee. A very sweet-looking old lady stands next to me. She walks away from the counter and as our eyes meet, she says to me:

"Are you a latte-lapping liberal?"

And then she cackles.

I reply: "Nope. I'm drinking a regular coffee."


I'm not quite sure what prompted this...attack? Attempt at ironic conversation? Descent into dementia?

Do I look particularly liberal? Maybe she reads my blog.

I'm also not sure how it's exactly an insult...if it even was an insult. Maybe it was code, like how Communists would greet each other with "Fellow traveler."

What would the opposite be? A coal-crunching conservative?

Many questions. Fewer answers. I'm going to drink my coffee now.

Sumatra blend. Cream and sugar. With a sprinkle of cinnamon.

But that doesn't easily lend itself to a concise clever comment, pithy pronouncement, or an alliterative aside.